Welcome at Flow of Miracles

Dear people,

All the time people get told to play towards their strengths. It easy, it makes things work faster and it's often enjoyable. Yet, there aren't much opportunities to be had or lessons to be learned. It often takes courage and honesty to face up to our flaws, weaknesses and areas of growth, but the rewards are worth it. So today, I'm writing about how to play to your weaknesses.

Physical weaknesses

Yeah, it would be nice if we were always fit, always happy and always pain free. Yet we all have physical weaknesses. When we acknowledge those, we can work towards better lives. Not acknowledging or accepting our limitations means we will not work towards better outcomes.

Some reflection questions:

1. What is the best time of day for you to work? And do you take that into account?
2. Do you give yourself the right amount of food? 
3. Do you give yourself the right type of food?
4. Do you give yourself enough rest?
5. Do you give yourself enough relaxation?
6. Do you give yourself what you need when you are in pain or sick? 

If you know your weakness is sweets at 4pm, you can do something about it, once you acknowledge that this is a hard time for you. If you notice you are a night owl, you will feel less upset that you sleep the morning away, knowing that your effective time is still coming. Or, if you want to check what it feels like to work in what you think is your weakest time, you can try sleeping a bit earlier, and seeing what a 6am wake up does for you.

I see a lot of people not using the tools they need, because they want to be physically perfect. Yet, when  we acknowledge we aren't, it's can be liberating to give yourself what you need or go on an adventure to try something new. I admit that I am a fan of warm hot baths, but taking a cold shower sometimes really does revitalize me. Yet sometimes I just really need that bath!

Emotional weaknesses

Life would be a lot easier if none of us had emotional weaknesses. Yet, sometimes we burst into tears or are quick to anger. We let our passion lead us astray or wear rose colored glasses. We notice we are feeling entitled or we are being unfair to others. Some of us are prone to feeling jealous while others are people-pleasers.

Once we know where our emotional weaknesses are, we have an easier time keeping our emotional balance. It's always nice to feel stable, able to handle whatever punches life throws at us en build towards the kind of human being you want to be.

Some reflection questions:

1. How do you deal with difficult emotions like anger, sadness, jealousy? 
2. How do you deal with guilt?
3. Are your moods stable?
4. Do you notice your mood shifts?
5. Can you change your own mood?
6. Are your relationships healthy? 

Mental weaknesses

Some of us are worriers, some of us prefer predictable patterns, others get stuck in their own headspace, there are many different mental weaknesses. Yet all of us have them. If you acknowledge them, it helps put them into perspective. Mental stress that remains unspoken often leads to bad decisions, outburst or even illness. 

Regularly checking in on our mental health is important, but so is knowing what gets your goat so to speak. If you know you crash out when you need to do a presentation at work, you can deal with that in an appropriate way. Always nervous doing new things? Take it into account, but keep on trying.

Some reflection questions:

1. How do you manage your fears?
2. How do you manage your stress?
3. Do you know your personal signs of stress?
4. Do you regularly mitigate your stress levels?
5. Do you get out of your comfort zone now and again? 
6. Do you reflect enough on your mental health? 

I highly recommend you take some time to play with the answers to your questions and see where your growth is calling you or where you need to be kinder to yourself. If you want to talk more about accepting and overcoming weaknesses or ask what's possible for you, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram. 

Dear people,

Healing is available for everybody. Yet it's a rare week when I don't notice some form of communication where the expectation is clear: there will not be healing. Sometimes when I read the comments of a news story about a rape survivor, sometimes I speak to somebody who is deeply grieving or when I have an intake with somebody who is looking for help, but who has given up or lost faith. Today I'm writing about why healing is available for everybody and why that's so important to remember.

Different faces of Healing

Lucky for us, we often heal without thinking about it. It's not instantaneous, but we don't consciously need to work for it. A cut in our finger, a blister on our foot or pimple in our face. A bit of heart break, a disappointment or a night of less sleep is often also quickly forgotten. Our bodies,  hearts and minds want to heal and we take that for granted. 

Yet sometimes healing is a journey - it takes time and effort to reach our destination. When people can not imagine the destination they think healing is not possible. Sometimes they  want to go back in time. A grieving person won't get their loved one back. A rape that has happened can't be stopped. So they tell me that nothing can be done - there is nothing to heal. When this happens, it means that we are stuck in the past instead of finding a way to move forward.

Healing has many faces. It can be acceptance. It can be new love or new life. It can be inner peace. It can be strength. It can be wholeness. It can be helpfulness. It can be strength. It can be wisdom. But it will never be the exact same way as before. If that was true, it wouldn't be healing, as that would mean we have learned nothing, gained nothing and just rewound time. 

Sabotage in Healing

Sometimes people swear they want to heal, but they've seen a lot of different people and they claim nothing works. With our bodies inner natural healing power, it's very unlikely that nothing would ever work. It often means that our hearts or our minds are sabotaging the healing. Like somebody who tells  you they want to quit smoking with a cigarette in their mouth. 

It's really hard to deal with self-sabotage in Healing. Most of the sabotage is subconscious, so people really feel like they are working hard and trying hard. They are often angry and upset, because nothing they are doing seems to be working. It's like an invisible hand is ruining their work time and time again. Sometimes they feel they have done enough and are unwilling to see where their energy, participation and willingness is needed.

If you notice this happening in your life - remember that healing is always possible. You just need to work on the self sabotage to start the healing process. I made a True Unity video to help people heal self sabotage. If you do notice healing but frequent set backs or mixed results, definitely take a closer look into self sabotage.

Time needed for healing

I  always say that most people would like to be healed yesterday. However, in our world healing takes time. While it's sometimes possible to have a Celestial Speedup all healing takes time. We can't rush our body, mind or heart. I understand that people sometimes wish to flash forward, but for true healing changes need to be made in a healthy way.

If your healing is a time issue, give your body,  heart or mind some grace. While it's wonderful to instantly heal trauma, it's just not always possible. One of my longest personal healing was around 15 years, but the radioactive iodine treatment I did had a large effect on my body. I gained a lot of wisdom on that healing journey and I'm grateful that the issue is healed now. I'm working on deeper healing as I'd like to be medication free.

With longer healing journey's it's often discouraging to see very little results, but you should see some. I did notice a more balanced thyroid year after year and the amount of side effects became less and less. So while I wasn't healed or within normal blood values, I was healing. If you see no results with time, there is definitely self sabotage going on. If you so slow results, be sure to check if there is something extra you can do, but if not, try to be patient and accept the time needed for your healing.

I regularly have to tell clients that they need to wait until the healing energy has done it's work. While I do after care at 6 weeks, I've seen full healing occur 9 months later. The energy was obviously still running. Sometimes people do need a second session, because the healing uncovered a deeper problem or because it wasn't possible to do a complete healing in 1 session. There is only so much change we can handle - no matter how much healing we desire.

Keeping a Healing Mindset

When we believe healing is possible we keep searching, trying new things and listening to our bodies. We are focused on self love and self care. We are mindful of our new boundaries until we are fully healed. If we believe healing is not possible we can sink into depression or despair, make self sabotaging choices and often do things that are wrong for our bodies, heart and minds.

It's hard sometimes to keep a healing mindset, so don't be discouraged if you lost it for a while. Get yourself back on track and forgive forgive forgive. Forgiveness is a great healing tool and will often lead you towards more wisdom and better outcomes. 

Exercise: Available Healing

• Take around 15-20 minutes for this exercise
• Grab a pen/pencil and a piece of paper
• Write down the answers to the following questions intuitively.  
• The percentage of healing available to me is:
• The percentage of self sabotage I'm dealing with is:
• The amount of time I need to heal this issue is:
• The direction I need to take my healing into is:
• Take some time to reflect on your answers. 
• If you aren't happy about the amount of healing available or the time needed, invest in more support or a Celestial speedup
• If you aren't happy with the amount of self sabotage, start healing there.
• Listen carefully to the direction you need to take your healing in
• Don't forget to drink a bit of water and do some grounding 

I strongly believe we can all be healed. That's why I write so many exercises on my blog, make healing video's and do live sessions. And of course work with clients in my practice. If you want to talk more about healing or ask what's possible for you, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram. 

Dear people,

The spiral is a wonderful healing tool to work with, both in what we can accomplish for ourselves, but also in what happens when things go wrong. In English, spiraling can both mean: decrease or deteriorate continuously as well as showing a continuous and dramatic increase. I've written before on using the Spiral in walking meditation, but today I want to write some more about the spiral as a healing tool.

Why a healing spiral?

Most of the time, people like their growth to be a continuous line trending upward. While I can understand why that's ideal, that's hardly realistic. That would mean that we only take steps forward and our lives continuously improve at the same rate. 

After discussing this, people often talk about how life has it's ups and downs, and then draw a line which dips now and again, but in the end rises higher and higher. That's more realistic than the always upwards trending line. Sometimes we take a step back and then 2 forward, sometimes we are stuck in a dip for a long while, but in the end, we achieve more then we had in the beginning.

What it doesn't show is how healing builds upon healing and pain builds upon pain. It's no wonder we call it 'spiraling' when we talk about mental health. When we can't stop a negative thought, it will often generate another and another and another until we hit rock bottom. Breaking that spiral is so important. At the same time, if we are healing, building positivity upon positivity, we will reach higher and higher. That often means we reach higher and higher levels of healing. Of course that means we regularly revisit earlier themes which sometimes means people mistakenly think they make no progress or fear that they are stuck in a loop.

Why use a healing spiral?

If you know that healing and growth moves into a spiral, you can use it in your healing practice to increase healing as well as speed it up. Who doesn't like speeder results? It means meeting yourself where you are at, but also increasing your own healing potential. 

You can also use spirals to get to the core of issues or to manifest things outward. Spirals are found in nature, making it easier to meditate with this symbol. Of course spirals also feature in sacred geometry. So there are many ways in which you can connect to spirals and have them help you.

Some ideas to use a spiral

Here are some ideas on how to use a spiral:

1. Meditate with a spiral object like a seashell, a snail etc.
2. Walk a spiral inwards with a reflection question
3. Walk a spiral outwards with a manifestation focus 
4. Trace or draw spirals
5. Use a piece of rope, string or a necklace to make a spiral

Exercise: Healing Spiral

• Take around 10-15 minutes for this exercise
• Choose a healing theme (for example: physical health, assertiveness, acceptance)
  
• Gently close your eyes
• Breathe in and out until you feel comfortable
• Visualize a spiral staircase standing right before you
• Your staircase is filled with light and healing
  
• Set your foot upon the first step - breathe in and out - and access the healing available
• Gently ascend upwards to the next level
• Ask for the lesson or gift at this stage of healing 
  
• Breathe in and out - and access the healing available
• Repeat until you feel you are at the highest level of healing for yourself
• Extend gratitude towards yourself
  
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding

If you want to share your experience with healing spirals or my exercises, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page or watch the past Instagram Live about affirmations. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice or by e-mail.

Dear people,

I love Self Care, because self care is self love. For a lot of people it's really hard to take the time to take care of themselves. Life can get really busy, you might feel obligated to take care of others first or of your household or just forget about your own needs. We tend to forget we can't pour from an empty cup and that we need to prioritize our own well being. If you recognize that, it's time to do some self care! If you have only a minute, check out my Creating Joy: Self Care video.

Three Pillars of Self Care: Eat, Sleep and Relax

I always tell people that before you do other things, we need to make sure that the three pillars of self care are strong and healthy. If we don't do that, we will ultimately crash our health. The bill of neglect always comes due - we can stay upright for a while, but in the end, we can't live without food or sleep. High stress levels will definitely also take their toll. 

So yeah, it's tempting to just forget meals or eat fast food when you are busy, but it's not a healthy long term choice. It's hard to get the right amount of sleep when you are stressed and it seems so much needs to be done or to choose to relax first and pick up work later. Yet, if we do that, we will replenish our own energy reserves and have the time to find better solutions. 

Stressful situations tend to cause decisions being made out of fear, exhaustion or emotional distress. And later one, we'd see that if we had just taken a break, we'd have made better choices. It's very hard to remind ourselves of this though, because the stress and lack of sleep will definitely cloud our judgement. 

If our foundation of self care is solid, it's time to make sure our second level of self care is taken care of. This one is very personal, because what is self care for one person, is deeply annoying for another. For some, a part of self care is connecting to our loved one's and having social time. You can see quite often that when people become parents, some people really need to leave the house and go out, while others are most content just reading a book on the couch or taking some time in the bath tub.  

You are the one person who knows what you need for your well being. Don't drink coffee if you are a tea drinker or force yourself to go out if you need some me-time at home. It's fine to try out new things and see what they do for your well being, but if you have been stressed for a long time, going back to your old time favorites is often the best practice. 

By regularly taking care of your own well being, you will notice it's much easier to be flexible, generous with your time and energy and joyful. If you only do the foundation of self care, after a while, you will notice you have a feeling of discontent. We all need to make sure we do things that make us feel happy!

Last level of Self Care: Soul Purpose

When the first 2 layers of Self Care are solid, it's time for the last level. We have enough energy and vitality to take things on and we are happy enough to deal with more, it's inevitable that we are drawn toward our soul purpose.

If we don't move towards it, after a while, our lives will start feeling meaningless and we wonder what it's all for. So we will find our lessons, our opportunities and our blessings if we choose to connect to them. God, Higher Power, The Universe whatever you feel comfortable with, will continue to offer them up to us. 

If we are very tired still, we might find opportunities to heal, to be pampered or to be cared for. If we are ready to learn, we will find teachers, books, podcasts or other resources. If we are ready to help others and ourselves, we will be called to use our gifts and talents. We don't really need to do anything for our soul purpose, it will just be done through us. So listen, be guided and enjoy!

Self Care exercise 

• Take around 5-10 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
• Close your eyes 
• First, allow yourself to receive love and care from God/The Universe/Higher Power
  
• Imagine yourself being completely filled with this care
  
• Let is rejuvenate you in body, heart, mind and spirit
• Once you feel completely at peace and cared for thank God/The Universe/Higher Power
  
• Ask for any guidance on how to take care of yourself and listen closely
• You might get inspiration based on food, sleep or other activities
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding 
• Plan your self care activities and hold yourself to it!
  

If you want to share your experience with self care or my exercises, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Dear people,

Often I'd hear from people that it's bad to be sweet. Sweet is considered being a push-over, unable to set healthy boundaries, being compliant or overly accommodating. It's sad that being sweet is getting such a bad rap nowadays. Especially since sweetness can truly melt our hearts. Who doesn't like seeing sweet baby animals, sweetness of two young lovers etc. etc. So today, let's work on embracing sweetness.

Sweetness in our lives

Of course the most obvious external sweetness for a lot of people is sugar! And with how often it's added in to food, some of us have serious issues with cravings and missing the sweet taste in their life. It's important to realize that true, lasting sweetness is not one that leaves a bitter taste later. So sugar isn't actually adding any sweetness to your life - it just feels that way temporarily. I highly suggest you don't overindulge in sugar if you feel the craving of sweetness in your life. 

So what sweetness can you expect in your life that is pure and good? It could be as simple as a compliment from your boss or your friends, an unexpected gift, a nice smelling flower you encounter or a ray of sunshine that you sit in. Life is filled with sweetness that can be embraced when we see it or try to look for it. I truly believe that God is always creating sweet surprises for us.

Those kind of sweet moments, when life feels so wonderful, can pass you by, be fleeting or embraced to last longer. When we choose to live with awareness, we will find sweetness everywhere and it will fill our cup. You can also try Gratitude work to enhance the sweetness of life or try out the exercise in this blog post.

Sweetness for yourself

Often, people are stuck in their own busyness or critical voice and forget that they can also increase sweetness for themselves. You can build your own positive voice, practice self care or just do something sweet for yourself. When is the last time you gave yourself a gift? Decided to speak about yourself with kindness? Complimented something you did? And of course, watching bunny, cat or dog video's, for a reasonable time, is also a wonderful way to have your heart melt with sweetness.

While it's wonderful if other people bring us sweetness, it's also kind beautiful to gift it to ourselves. It might feel a bit uncomfortable at first - but once you get used to it, it should remind you that sweetness is to be savored.

Sweetness in our relationships

Often people tell me they long to go back to the beginning of their relationships - when their partner was still sweet. How he or she would gift them unexpected surprises, gave them more attention, did sweet things or sweet talked them. So why does that stop? Sometimes people get stuck in a rut, they might stop wooing their partner or (which is most likely) they are stuck in resentment.

So what happens if we let sweetness return in our relationships? If we do, it's easier for our partners to forgive us our mistakes, to treat us with grace and to feel like we contributing in positive ways in our lives. Do you always have to be sweet? Definitely not - but when we choose to consciously be sweet, we are enhancing our relationships. 

True sweetness is also sweet to us. You aren't buying a gift out of guilt, you are buying one because you have a sweet memory that you'd like to share (these used to be my favorite snack!) or you want to create something sweet for your partner (I saw them and I know you love them). And thus, the sweetness you give to your partner, is also creating sweetness in you. You get happier seeing their excitement, gratitude or joy. 

Besides romantic relationships, it's also wonderful to creating sweetness in all relationships. Again, don't do it out of obligation, guilt or fear. Just respond with sweetness: gifts, compliments, support, kindness etc. whenever you can. You will see your friendships, working relationships etc. flourish.

Sweetness exercise 

• Take around 10-15 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
• Close your eyes 
• First, allow yourself to receive sweetness from God/The Universe/Higher Self/Higher Power
• Imagine yourself being completely drenched in the sweetness of life
• It flows over you like a shower of multicolored rain and removes all guilt, fear and resentment
• Once you have drunk your fill - it's time to share the sweetness with the people in your life
• Imagine gifting everybody you care about this sweetness
• See it transform their lives
• Open yourself up to inspiration - you might get some good ideas for sweet acts for yourself or others
• Thank Higher Power
  
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding 
• Plan your acts of sweetness so you will do them within a reasonable time frame
  

If you want to share your experience with sweetness or my exercises, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Dear people,

I've already written about how an illness can be an advantage, but today I'm writing about something that can be a great solution to heal: busting your own lies. We all need to bust our own lies, so we can move forward in a healthy way. Living authentically isn't always the easiest and sometimes we delude ourselves instead of facing the truth. So today I'm writing about how to bust your own lies, so you have a better life.

We all lie - but which lies are problematic

It's very normal to lie - we all do it. Sometimes those lies are polite fictions so we can smooth social waters, sometimes those lies are a little bit more involved, because we want to escape consequences. It can be hard to accept that we lie, but once we do, we can take better care of what lies we tell and why. I know a lot of people who say that they are very honest, but when we are truly honest, we all need to acknowledge that we lie.

Lies based on what's really going on in our lives are very problematic. If you don't want to share your inner most thoughts and feelings, that's fine. But if you tell a lie about how you are feeling to others, you miss out on comfort, support and love, unless they see you are lying and call you out on it. If you lie to yourself about what you are truly feeling, you can't take charge of the problems, heal your emotional upset or look for solutions.

Lying about your own part or responsibilities in problems is also extremly problematic. If you insist it was just 'bad luck' or 'that just happened to you randomly', you are missing out on solving problematic patterns in your life, subconscious self-sabotage or past life pain. While technically it is possible that bad occurrences are just bad luck - if you are always losing jobs, getting into car crashes, having trouble with your friends etc. it's a good idea to take a long hard look in the mirror. Like they say: "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." It can be very hard to accept our own part in our problems, but it is necessary for healing, self forgiveness, letting go and moving on.

Conscious lies vs Subconscious lies 

A lot of people think they don't lie much, because they are highly unaware of all the lies they are telling. This is very normal, but at the same time, doesn't help in busting your own lies. A few years ago I heard that the most spoken lie is: "I will remember that". Upon reflection, I totally agreed, that I have said that often, while not remember the message later. So now when I hear myself say that, I substitute towards: "Let me write that down so I will remember that". Since I've done this, I definitely had to deal a lot less with things I've forgotten. 

Another common lie is the: "Everything is ok"-lie. If you don't want to share, that's fine, but automatically saying everything is fine, isn't good for us. If you hear yourself do that a lot, take some time to reflect why you don't want to share your life with others. Maybe you need to work on vulnerability, maybe you need to allow support or feel safe with another person. There are many reasons why we tend to automatically say we are good, when we are not. 

If you consciously lie, you know you are trying to get away with something or trying to take something. So it's very important to admit to yourself that you are lying. Asking yourself if it's worth the loss of integrity and the fall out if your lie gets discovered. Besides the polite fictions, that we all sometimes use, we do have malicious lies as well. We need to own those, so we can heal. 

Hearing your own lies exercise

• Take around 5-15 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
  
• Think of a statement you want to verify
• For example: I love myself, I am blameless of X, I am doing the best I can, I'm making healthy choices 
  
• Gently speak it in the air
• Listen carefully to your own voice: do you sound strong, confident and convincing? Or does your voice waver, do you sound small etc.
  
• Feel your body: are your relaxed and does this statement resonate fully with truth? Or do you feel a blockage somewhere or notice stress?
  
• Notice your energy: does this resonate with you or does it sound off?
• If you notice your statement is a lie - state the opposite and again notice what happens. Is the counter more true? Are both not strong and does it mean you are divided?
• Ask God/your Guides/Angels/the Universe to place you back into Truth
• Notice what happens for you and if need me, repeat your statement to hear the difference
• Do a few statements if you want to, but no more then 10, because this work can really be tiring
  
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding 

Want to share your experience or give feedback on my exercise? Email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.  Want to work more with releasing lies? Check out the True Unity Video Release Self Delusion!

Dear people,

I've spoken about co-creation in my Dutch Column and on a Creating Joy video. I love manifesting, achieving my goals and walking my path using this spiritual technique. It's wonderful not having to do things all on your own and always having support from Higher Power. Want to know how to work with co-creation? Read on and try the exercise in this blog post!

What is Co-creation?

The idea of co-creation is in the name: co, from cooperation, or doing thing together and creation for creation, creating things. So basically it means creating in cooperation. As a spiritual technique that means it's not only creating with others, but specially, creating with Higher Power. It doesn't matter if that's God, the Universe, Higher Power, Heaven or whatever you are comfortable with.

You can of course also co-create with other people, which is also lovely, but not what this blog post is about, unless you choose as a group to co-create with higher power.   

Drawbacks/Benefits of Co-creation

One of the big drawbacks of using co-creation is that you need to relinquish control. When we work with higher power, it's not us behind the steering wheel of the car. We need to accept that Higher Power has a better plan then we do. Sometimes that type of surrender is hard for people and they come and complain to me that they are trying to co-create goals for their business or private life, but it doesn't seem to work at all. 

They are right that it won't work, because if you are trying to force a relationship that isn't right for you - you can't do that with co-creation. Same goes for business goals that are not in line with your soul path or purpose. You simple won't get clients for services or find that storefront if it's in the wrong city for you. 

That's why if you are a micromanager or control freak, co-creation is going to be hard for you. You need to accept that you are asking for the other more knowledge, wiser and more loving partner to take charge. 

Even when the co-creation is going well, you will have to release your timeline, because that's also out of your hands. I remember really setting a deadline for myself to start the new year with a new business name a few years back. But I just couldn't find or connect with anything. In the end, I decided to use co-creation, knowing it might mean not registering domain names or even getting my business cards ready in time. Once I accepted that and listened however, I did receive the name, and everything fell into place on time. Yet - my time isn't always Higher Powers time, so it could have meant I would have needed placeholders.

Benefits of Co-creation

So what are the benefits of co-creation? First of all: it's lovely not to have to do it on your own. Having support is wonderful. Just knowing support is available greatly reduces stress levels! It might feel strange to leave big decisions up to Higher Power, but once you learn to surrender your life becomes a lot less stressful.

Secondly, you only have to do half the work, and sometimes even less! Imagine being able to ask for help in finding a place for your business. Doing it on your own would mean checking out many different places, hoping you'd pick the right one and signing a contract. Doing it with co-creation would be asking what is the right place for you. You'd listen to guidance, you might be guided to somebody, somebody might be guided to you or you'd just stumble upon the right place. Instead of having endless lists to compare places and getting statistics, you'd just open yourself up and listen. 

Thirdly, better results. While co-creation with Higher Power takes some getting used too, once you start seeing results, you'll know immediately that it's worth it. You pick the right people, the right places, the right work, the right everything. Even if things don't go 100% your way, they often either go better then you ever dreamed of or you'll learn something very important that is worth the aggravation!    

I'd like to say: "Always", but that's not completely true. There are times when you need to take quick decisions and won't be able to get into the head and heart space for co-creation. There are times where it's hard to let go of the outcome and you notice you can't co-create. There are times where the decision to do co-creation can feel like overkill - like what you'd make for dinner.  

Co-creation is the easiest to do for big projects, blockages/obstacles that you are unsure how to overcome or anything that is so important to you that you just want the highest level of success. 

Co creation exercise

• Take around 10-20 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
• Close your eyes
  
• Imagine a symbol for the project/goal/situation you'd like to co-creation on. For example: an imagine of a house for your housing search etc.
  
• Gently place that symbol upon the ground and release the need to control 
• Ask for help by stating: "I ask God/The Universe/Higher Power to help me co-create this for me
• Imagine the symbol shimmering in gold energy and then rising up until you can't see it anymore
• Ask for guidance: "I open myself up to any guidance/inspiration needed for my side of the work"
  
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding
• Write down any impressions that you had during this exercise
• Repeat this exercise whenever you feel the need to have more guidance on what you should be doing. You can change the symbol based on changes in your journey. For example: paper symbolizing a bid for a house.

If you want to share your experience with co-creation or get some advice on this technique, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.  Or post a comment below the YouTube video's: Dutch Column or Creating Joy video and I will respond as soon as possible.

Dear people,

I already wrote a bit about Bonds and Cord Cutting in an earlier blog post and there is an Instagram Live Session about Energetic Bonds & Cord Cutting, but I've noticed quite a bit of trouble in people's lives recently when bonds weren't cut appropriately. So that's why I'm writing a new blog post today including some exercises to help you evaluate and cut cords of unhealthy bonds.

What is the difference between a bond and a wound

Sometimes part of us stays connected to something or someone who is no longer in our lives. The difference between a bond and wound, is that the bond will allow energy to go back and forth. This is noticeable for people who are very energy sensitive, but not everybody notices it. Energetically speaking, an unhealthy bond can drain your energy even when you are unaware of this or are no longer in contact. A wound usually causes problems when it's pressed, but not during other times.

So for example, if you have a wound because an ex partner cheated on you, it's likely you will feel this pain if it's still unhealed, if hear about cheating, if you are in a situation that reminds you of the cheating, if a new partner shows behavior that reminds you of cheating. 

If you still a bond with your ex-partner, even if you are no contact/not speaking, you might notice you wonder about your ex and their life, you might still feel invested in health or happiness or the opposite feel like you still want them to suffer and you sometimes feel like you want to reconnect or want to check out their social media etc. You might have dreams about your ex or even get intuitive insights about them. 

Why we should practice Cord Cutting

When a relationship is healthy and your bond is healthy, it's wonderful to feel energetically in tune with your partner, your friends and family etc. But when we need to let go and move on, keeping this kind of bond is painful and detrimental to our well being. Energy keeps flowing into something that is no longer good for us. 

Letting go can be very hard for us, especially when part of us still yearns for the past. It doesn't matter if that's a past lover, a past job, a restaurant we used to love... that yearning keeps the bond alive. We keep investing energetically into something that is gone. Once that cord is cut, we will feel happier and healthier and are able to connect to the new things, people and situations that are right for us. 

Sometimes I recommend cord cutting for bonds that are still active. For example: if somebody is looking for a new job, but is still very connected and loyal to their old job. Cutting the cord will help return the energy towards the job search instead of the old job. And other example is cutting part of an unhealthy cord, like cutting being a helicopter parent, helps restore balance in the bond between parent and child. So if you feel like have taken on too much responsibility or are acting too dependent on someone, cutting that unhealthy bit will be extremely beneficial. 

Cord Cutting options

There are many different ways you can practice cord cutting. It all depends on what you are most comfortable with. You can also practice multiple ways if you feel the cord is reattaching or you haven't been able to clear it out completely.

• Cutting the cord by Visualization or Meditation
• Cutting the cord by intention
  
• Writing a letter and burning it
• Using crystals to cut the cord
  
• Asking your Guides/Angels etc. to cut the cord for you
• Asking Heaven/The Universe/God to cut the cord for you
  

Cord Cutting Visualization

• Take around 5-10 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
  
• Imagine a cord running from you towards the other person or thing
• See the energy running through it and see where this cord connects to you (for example: from your heart, head, groin etc.)
• Imagine your energy returning to you and no longer running throughout this cord
• Gently knot the cord on your end - so the energy from the other person or thing can't reach you anymore
• Cleanse the cord with golden light
  
• Imagine the cleansed cord growing grey and wrinkled
• Cut the cord just after the knot
• Absorb the last piece of the cord into your own energy body
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding
  

Want to know more about Energetic Bonds and do some cord cutting with me? Check out my Instagram Live: Energetic Bonds & Cord Cutting or try out any of the True Unity Videos on Cord Cutting like: Release General Unhealthy Bonds, Release Unhealthy Romantic Bonds, Release Unhealthy Bonds with our Parents or Release Unhealthy Friendship Bonds.

Do you want to share your experience with cord cutting or get some advice on this technique? You can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Dear people,

I was quite surprised when I found out I haven't written anything yet about connecting with Angels or Angel Energy. I have written about Animal Totems as well as an article about Available Guidance, which of course also talks about Angels and answered questions about Guides/Guardian Angels. Now it's time to write a blog post about Angel Work and how to connect with Angels. You can also listen to me talk about Angels in Dutch, as my radio column Spiritueel Moment is on my YouTube Channel. I hope to have English Subtitles for them soon, so they are accessible to more people.

Angels

I love how Angels feature in so many different spiritual traditions and religions. Often they are the messengers of Higher Power, bringing us guidance and love. Yet, they can also help defend us, work with us or guard us. You might culturally feel you have a connection to Angels, as their images are everywhere around us.

Angel Energy is also very connected to Higher Power, so when we connect to Angels, we almost always feel a sense of peace, a light touch and so much love. Even if you don't feel you've connected to Angelic Energy, rest assured, your message has been heard.

Why work with Angels

We are of course all attracted to different higher energies, so if you don't feel a particular connection to Angels or Angelic Realms, you might not feel inclined to work with them. Yet, I truly believe that all higher realm energies are worthwhile for us. So you might give the exercise later on in the blog post a try to see what happens for you.

For me working with Angels is natural whenever I need softness, inner peace, forgiveness, surrender or faith. I also have worked extensively with Archangel Michael on healthy boundaries and protection. You can choose to work with whatever Angel calls you. I'm sure I give my Guardian Angel some work sometimes, but I do try to reach out for guidance often. Working with Angels can be very subtle, but it's also done with such grace that you will understand it's value.

Connecting with Angels

There are many ways of connecting with Angels, but it always begins with the intention that you want to connect. You can do so out loud, by calling, but also with your inner voice. After your intention, you can be sure your call is heard. Yet it helps to work with tools to understand the message Angels bring you.

Some of my favorite ways to connect are:

• Meditation/Visualization
• Prayer
• Cards (there are so many sets out there featuring Angels and Angelic Energy)
• Automatic Writing
• Dreams

Angel Contact Exercise

• Make sure you have 5-10 minutes of uninterrupted time to try to contact an Angel. 
• Decide if you want to connect to a specific Angel, your Guardian Angel or just Angelic Energy
  
• Close your eyes and breathe deeply in and out a few times
  
• Imagine sitting on a bench, comfortable in the sun
• You are comfortable and at peace and ready to call out to the Angel or Angelic Presence that has a message for you. 
• Gently pat the bench next to you and ask them to join you
• Breathe in and out until you feel a Presence next to you
• Accept the Gift of the Angelic Energy or an Energy Gift that the Angel brings you
• Ask if there is a specific message from Higher Power/God that you need to know
• Thank the Angel
• Gently open your eyes and return to your body
• Eat or drink something to ground yourself back into your body
  

Want to share your thoughts and ideas about Angel and Angel Work? Leave a comment on this Blog, my Facebook Fan Page, contact me on Instagram or talk to me in the practice.

Dear people,

Today I'm writing about surrender, a beautiful energy and a conscious commitment that can help us stay in the Flow and follow our best path. While we all know that surrender can be beautiful, it often brings up resistance in us. That's because it can be misused and because our ego loves being in control. So if you want to know more about surrender or use it work magic in your life, try out the exercise in this Blog,  watch the Creating Joy - Surrender video, use the Manifestation Meditation Surrender or work with the Affirmations on Surrender.

What surrender isn't

When I recently spoke to somebody about surrender, she told me that she hates that word. I asked her what surrender was for her and she spoke of giving yourself to another person 100% and obeying them 100%. I told her that sounds more like slavery - not the surrender I believe in.

Surrender is a choice. It should mean that we choose to listen. After the listening, we need to use our own talents and skills and feel authentically if this is the right path for us. If that's true, we choose to give ourselves and then choose to follow. However, we never lose sight of our own judgement or responsibility and we keep checking if the path we are following is right for us. That means that for true surrender, we need our body, heart, mind and intuition to be in alignment with what we are doing. We keep ourselves accountable during our life - not follow blindly or forever.

Why surrender is hard

Our ego loves being in control.  It will tell us that we know best and we can do it on our own. Even when asking for help would make our lives easier. Even when we are struggling against the current of life, because what we want is out of alignment with our souls. Yes, it's hard to accept that what we have planned isn't working or that what we are trying for isn't right for us, but if we don't, we just keep hitting the same wall over and over again. 

So to truly surrender, we need to understand our own ego, we need to understand our own need to be right and to be in control. Letting somebody else take the lead, even if it's God/The Universe or whatever Higher Power you feel comfortable with, isn't a walk in the park. We need to truly exercise our own free will to choose to surrender.

Why you should surrender

We, as human beings, are very limited. We can't truly understand another person 100%. We can try and we can empathize but what's in the heart of other people is still a guess for us. We can't see the whole picture - the world is big and filled with billions of people. We don't truly understand all of ourselves and we often act based on subconscious behavior, past trauma or emotion. So we will do things that are bad for us or won't bring us what is needed. 

God, the Universe, Higher Power, doesn't have this limitation. A perfect plan, filled with the best rewards, the most love and kindness etc. is waiting for us. When we surrender, we feel loved and cherished. When we surrender, we get all the help we need. When we surrender, our life might turn out differently then we thought, hoped or desired, but it will be better. Sometimes we can easily see that, when we have left one partner and meet up with somebody better suited, sometimes we don't know why the plan is as is it is.

Surrendering means we are living our purpose - we are following our soul's path. Besides all those rewards, we feel fulfilled. We live in the certainty that we are doing the right things. Yet, for all that, it's a struggle for most of us to surrender.

Surrender exercise

Take around 5-15 minutes for this exercise and make sure you aren't disturbed. It's likely that you will seek distractions, because the ego doesn't want to surrender. Try to get back to the exercise and count the amount of times you have been distracted. Knowing our level of resistance towards surrender is worthwhile.

Pick a pen and a paper and write down:

1. What your thoughts/feelings/insights are about surrender
2. Where do you feel you can surrender
3. Where do you still feel conflict or the need to control the outcome
4. Take the time to consciously choose to surrender and notice all resistances that come up
5. Release any resistance by using your favorite healing method
   
6. Affirm: I surrender
   

Want to share your thoughts and ideas about surrender? Leave a comment on this Blog, my Facebook Fan Page or contact me on Instagram or talk to me in the practice.

Dear people,

I always hear people say: I want to get healthy/I want to get better. Even so, being sick can be extremely attractive and feel like it gives us an advantage. Usually we hide this deep in our subconscious and refuse to admit it, but occasionally I have people being honest and admit to it. I always reiterate that if this is going on in your life, you either have a cycle of sickness/health that keeps on repeating or you simply never get healthy. So today, let's see why being sick can feel like an advantage and heal that pattern.

Being sick means you allow yourself more

This pattern tends to start when we are children. When you are sick, you might be allowed to lay on the couch and get some (more) TV time. You don't have to go to school and you can do some things you like better. 

As adults, we allow ourselves more too. People tell me that they allow themselves their favorite foods or to skip a dreaded chore. They can say no to something they don't like, because they feel sick, so they can do this without any guilt.

I especially see this happening when people have cancer. They keep telling themselves: "I don't have to do this/can give myself this, because I have cancer". They feel more empowered to make choices that suit them, without guilt, but at the same time, by using their illness as a reason, it's an advantage to be sick.

It's normal to take a break, ease up on things and give your body time to rest and heal when you are sick. However, if you notice you give yourself things when you are sick that you refuse to give yourself when you are healthy, there is trouble coming your way. Subconsciously you know that if you are sick, you get more, so being sick becomes attractive.

Sometimes we can see this in others, that they only get sick just before something they don't want to do or are too scared to do. Often people will say: "oh it's the stress of x", but sometimes it's just that being sick gives us an excuse and we want that advantage.

Being sick means you receive more

When we have a great support system, that often means that when we are sick, we will receive things we otherwise won't. We might receive more care, as somebody might come over and help us. We might feel more loved and more supported, because we get more time and attention from people who love us or receive sympathy or comfort. 

While it's nice to be taken care of, it's even nicer to spend time with the people we love in good health. So it's trap to think that when we are sick, we will get more. Especially because people will get exhausted taking care of us if we keep on getting sick or staying sick. Caregiver burnout is real and we do notice when somebody is getting sick often and not taking care of themselves. Our empathy has limits, meaning that this road often leads to anger on the side of the sick person, who keeps demanding more and anger on the healthy person who wants to live their life.

Being sick means you have to do less

If you have high expectations of yourself, being sick can also be an advantage, because you finally let those go. If you are sick, you don't have to do so much, you can finally rest or relax or do something that isn't productive or is just for yourself. People will leave you alone, because you are sick, so you don't have to hold healthy boundaries.

I've always seen a lot of people who don't allow themselves get sick in their holidays. It's like the body says: "finally, I can rest, so I'm just going to collapse now" or the mind says: "the only way I can rest is if I'm sick".

If you notice this pattern, definitely make sure you take enough breaks and add in relaxation in your daily schedule. While being a workaholic is celebrated in many societies it fails to make us happy and definitely is unhealthy.

Healing the pattern

If you feel you recognize some of this thinking, don't despair. It's quite an easy trap to fall into, but healing it will give great results. For this exercise take around 5-10 minutes.

• Imagine two sides of yourself and place them left and right of you
• The left side is the side that wants to stay or get sick. Listen to their reasons, justifications and complaints.
• The right side is the side that says it wants to be healthy. Listen to it's advice and often very high expectations, the stress it has in wanting to be 100% healthy.
• Ask Higher Power (God, Heaven, the Universe, Angels, your Guides) to melt both these sides into base energy of health and light
• Ask to have this energy placed in both of your hands and gently move them together. Fold your hands and them move them to your heart. 
• Breathe in and out until you feel at peace
• Thank Higher Power

You can repeat this exercise if you feel you have more layers of yourself who want to stay or be sick. 

If you want to share the results of this exercise or your thoughts, leave a comment on this Blog, my Facebook Fan Page or contact me on Instagram.

Dear people,

I've used Spiritual Storytelling for years. I've always been a storyteller, so a lot of people have heard me tell teaching stories, share anecdotes or memories. Often, they have found value or understanding in what I've told them. We all want to feel understood and like we aren't alone. These blog posts are stories too of course, often filled with exercises and useful information. When you receive the Healing Story at the send of healing session with me, that's also an example of Spiritual Storytelling. Today I want to give you some tips on how you can use Spiritual Storytelling in your own life.

Stories we tell ourselves

Every day we tell ourselves and others stories. Most of those tend to be negative if we aren't walking a positive spiritual path. We exclaim: "I"m always late" or "I always make this mistake". We tell others we are "unlucky in love" or "always have crap bosses". Once you pay attention, you notice how often you are creating stories in your daily life. Mindfulness helps you recognize if the stories you tell are mostly negative.  

If you are able to tell mostly positive stories about yourself, you can harness the power of those stories to build more positivity. That doesn't mean you should lie about things! I will give you a few tips on how to create positive stories.

Tip 1: Creating Positive Endings

We can tell positive stories about hardship, even if things aren't going our way yet. You can talk about a devastating divorce for example but still end your story with: "Even though the divorce was hard, I believe it's for the best and I will find a more suitable partner who will bring more love and happiness in my life". 

Creating a positive ending means others will understand that you are open to love and not bitter, it reminds you ever time you tell it, that you can have hope and faith. Telling positive stories becomes easier the more we see the support available to us and the more we trust that we are loved and cherished by Higher Power.

Once your positive ending has come to pass, you will notice that whole story changes. You might tell people: "Yeah, I got a divorce, but that allowed me to meet my current partner which has been a great blessing." As more time passes and we are positive about our current lives, the negative stories shrink and lose their hold. 

Tip 2: Healing a painful story

We all hold negative beliefs about ourselves or about what we deserve, as we are human and sometimes we stay stuck in pain. Often those beliefs are stuck in stories. We believe we always get horrible bosses, because we have several stories about it. Every time we tell those stories, we reinforce our own beliefs that we don't deserve a great supportive boss.

So when we choose to heal an old painful story, we can create new better one. It usually starts by forgiving everybody in your story, asking what the true purpose of that situation was and remembering that you deserve better. 

In case of the bosses, you might acknowledge that you have no idea what was going on in their lives, that caused them to lash out. Check your own accountability: what did you do wrong. Ask why you have been in that situation and then reword your story. You might say: "I haven't been lucky with my bosses in the past, but I'm willing to find a great boss. I know I deserve to be supported and listened to and appreciated. I'm excited to find a new position where this is true". 

Tip 3: Creating a story for your goals/future

Often when people talk to me about their goals, they sound hesitant and a little unsure. That's quite normal when we want to try something new. Even so, it can be incredibly healing and positive to create a story for your goals or future. 

Once you invest in positive language and share that with others, you will notice a stronger and more positive flow of energy for yourself. You might inspire others to join in or offer you tips or help along your journey. 

I have spoken more about this technique in an Instagram Live session, but also in Dutch in my column on the radio. If you don't want to miss future Instagram Live Sessions or my Dutch Column, follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my YouTube Channel. 

If you want to share a Spiritual Storytelling Technique or your thoughts, leave a comment on this Blog, my Facebook Fan Page or contact me on Instagram.

Dear people,

Shadow work can be super though but it's one of the most rewarding healing work that you can do for yourself. Shadow work is all about confronting yourself with your deepest and darkest 'parts' that you won't accept, fears and desires. Our shadow belongs to us, but we put everything we won't face in there. Consciously making the choice to face up to it brings big wounds to the surface to be healed. So let's talk about shadow work today.

Why I recommend Shadow Work

Imagine that you are an ice berg, with some of your energy above the water in your conscious mind and some below in your Shadow. If you have only little energy in your Shadow, you'd rise up, but if you have a lot of energy in your Shadow, you droop down. Everything that's in your conscious mind can be used - talents, skills etc. while everything in your Shadow can't.

When Shadow work is effective, you will notice an increase in life energy - feeling more vibrant, more alive and more energetic. You will find more acceptance and mildness for yourself and for others. Sources of anger and annoyances have disappeared. You are more able to connect with your body, your talents and your power. You feel more satisfied with yourself and your life and are generally happier. 

So it's very clear why I recommend doing Shadow work and why I offer it in my practice.

Doing shadow work alone or with a healer

There are of course many reasons to do Shadow work alone: it's free, it's private and you can do as much as as little as you want. The downside is that nobody is calling you out on your own lies. So if you just skim the surface of your Shadow or won't really go to the nitty gritty of uncomfortable feelings, you won't get much out of your own Shadow Work. 

I highly recommend checking how effective your work is and then deciding if you want to continue alone or not. If you notice yourself wanting to do this work, but never creating time for it, definitely get somebody in your corner to help you through it.

Ways of doing Shadow Work

There are many ways to do Shadow Work. I will cover a few ways with solutions on how to tackle that energy, so pick what you think will give you the best results.

• Focus on what makes you angry/what you can't accept in others. Check out how often you do this same behavior and heal and forgive yourself. Once the acceptance is complete - you will notice your anger is gone
• Focus on what parts of yourself you hate - what won't you allow yourself to feel or do or what body parts do you hate? Spend some time releasing judgement and returning yourself to innocence. See yourself as a wonderful Soul.
  
• Focus on what parts of yourself scare you - what power/talent are you unwilling to bring to light or use? Why are you scared/push that part of you away? Bring holy energy towards yourself to remind yourself that God/Spirit/The Universe has entrusted this with you for a reason.
• Open yourself up to listen to what you have repressed. Just allow it to be within you.
• Draw cards to see what you have within your Shadow and work with those to heal.

There are still so many more ways to do Shadow Work, but these are some of the simplest to do at home.

Shadow work blockages

Having to face and confront your fears, your demons, your hate, your littleness, these are all very difficult things to do. So it's perfectly normal to find yourself stumped. You might notice yourself rationalizing that you 'aren't like that', or 'had a good reason'. You might notice that you evade the work or lie because you  say for example that there is absolutely nothing that you hate about yourself and others.

So if you have tried some of the small exercises I wrote above and you notice this, Shadow Work is absolutely for you, but you need to work first on wanting to see yourself clearly. For Shadow Work the truth is paramount, but so is love and kindness towards yourself. So definitely start dropping judgements about yourself if you can. 

If you still have trouble, don't hesitate to reach out and we can work together to create a better integrated you. If you want to share your experiences with Shadow Work or your thoughts, leave a comment on this Blog, my Facebook Fan Page or contact me on Instagram.

Dear people,

In a perfect world everybody would be completely bonded with their birth families and stay consciously connected to each other. It would mean that we are all loved, treasured and cherished. Spiritual people know we are all connected and bonded, but living that truth is a lot more difficult. That starts with bonding with our children which has become increasingly more difficult in the last decades. Parents are often extremely busy and then shamed and it's though to get the help you need if you notice a healthy bond isn't forming. So today I'm writing about some bonding stories I've helped with and give some tips. 

Bonding with our children - during pregnancy

It's very very human to have difficulties bonding with our children during pregnancy for parents. The parent not carrying the baby can feel extremely shut out of the whole process. There isn't much to see, do or touch and if the pregnancy is difficult, it's though to stay connected to your partner, let alone the baby.

I've also seen the parent who is carrying the baby have bonding problems. There can be many reasons why there is a fear to bond - sometimes it's due to not believing a baby is really coming (due to IUI/IVF, fertility issues or anxiety), miscarriages in the past or sometimes when a pregnancy is a surprise (late in finding out/not planned).

The most important thing I tell my clients is to give themselves some grace and kindness. A lot of them feel enormous guilt in not bonding or doing the things that they think they should be doing or even should have done. Sometimes people still feel this lack of bonding years after their children are born and carrying this guilt, pain and frustration into their now and future. I use my True Unity technique to release those feelings and to reestablish the bond in the past. During that process they often access memories that they forgotten they had, like talking to the belly or baby and realize that they have done some bonding. 

I still remember the relief on the clients face who had suffered multiple miscarriages and told me she felt so guilty for not being 'on cloud 9' now that she was pregnant again. I told her that it was absolutely ok to experience the pregnancy in the way she was. That she might get that feeling after she passed certain milestones (12 weeks, 20 weeks, 24 weeks), but that if she didn't, that was perfectly ok. She was human and accepting her journey was what was best for her and her baby.

Bonding with our children - birth journey

While it would be absolutely lovely if everybody's birth journey would be effortless and wonderful, the harsh reality is that they aren't. They can be traumatic, painful, upsetting or even end in death. It's though to connect with the truth of that, but that means that often people experience shaming and can't express themselves to friends and families. If you don't say: "It was all worth it", there must be something wrong with you, is the recurring thought. 

Birth can absolutely be scary and becoming disassociated from your body or the process is just a way to feel safer or try to disconnect from a possible loss. That also means that even though the baby is the star of the show, the bonding can't take place. In some cases the aftermath is that bad that common traditions or after care can't take place and risks of postnatal depression rise. 

You can't go back in time, but you can reclaim this bonding. I did this with one of my clients who had a traumatic birth and health issues for days after. We had a lot of healing to do, especially around the pain and fear she suffered. However, something that many people would consider minor, was painful for her. She expressed how sad she was that she didn't get the customary Dutch birth celebration of treat of Beschuit met Muisjes (a biscuit with butter and a type of sweet topping). We accepted that we can't right the past, but how about creating it in the future? She was really happy with the idea of celebrating with this treat and creating the bonding experience at home of celebrating the birth, even though it was years after the fact. After all it wasn't about the treat, but about the fact she never had the joyous occasion of celebrating herself giving birth and welcoming her baby home. 

Bonding with our children - when they trigger us

It's super though to bond with your child when they drive you insane. They push your buttons or they are going through the exact same pain you went through and you feel devastated that the pattern continues. You also might notice you are acting in exactly the same way as your parents, the kind of behavior you swore you'd never do. It's though to stay in a mindset of love and bonding, while you truly would like to be as far away as possible. 

If you don't heal the wound in yourself, you can't bond with your child at that particular level. Your pain will become their pain and it will pass onto a new generation. A lot of people feel intense guilt at that idea and that makes it even harder to deal with the truth of the situation. It's normal to want to shy away from something so painful, but if you want to heal, you need to confront it. 

I had a grandparent visit me for healing, because he was devastated that he was acting just like his father. He'd missed most of the earlier years of his children, due to work, but now, being retired, he'd want to play and be present and bond with his grandchildren. He noticed how he was often yelling at them, correcting them in play due to perfectionism and frankly was disgusted with himself. We worked through the support he himself had missed as a child, reconnected him with his own inner child, so he could be the grandfather he wanted to be. He was happy to report increased patience, joy and bonding with his grandchildren and due to that, also with his children.

What do I recommend in restoring bonding

There are many things you can do, first of which would be to have a session of course, but you can also do a True Unity Healing Video at home or listen to one of my Manifestation Meditations. 

You can also restore bonding by recovering pieces of lost bonding from your past, connecting with your own inner child or to meet your children where they are at. For bonding, all we need is love, time, effort and energy. As human beings, we have all of that. I highly recommend you spend time with your children in ways that make them feel connected to you and you feel connected to them.

If you want to share a bonding activity or your thoughts, leave a comment on this Blog, my Facebook Fan Page or contact me on Instagram.

Dear people,

September is almost over and a lot of people are back to work and study, so time for a blog post on how to remember your lessons. Even if you aren't studying, remember your life sessions is a vital way to move forward wiser and better prepared. Nothing is more annoying then making the same mistake again. In Dutch we have a saying about a donkey and a stone, but in English the saying is: "a fox is not taken twice in the same snare." So let's talk about remembering your lessons!

Connect your lessons to a memory

If it's a life lesson, you would probably remember when you learnt it. The people you were with or the situation you were in. If you keep this memory alive, you will keep the lesson alive as well. You can return to it several times and making it a core memory. 

When you are studying something, you will only have memories of you in the classroom or you studying from a book. Even so, you might connect your lessons you are learning to a memory in your life. For example: if you are studying history about wars, you might have similar conflicts in your life. Even if the situation is not 100% similar, it will help you remember. 

Create a story

Don't have a good memory to connect to? You can also make a story. Stories are wonderful mnemonic devices, which is why they have been used all through the ages. Before writing things down, oral history or story telling, was the absolute best way to remember what had happened. 

So if you are trying to keep something alive in your brain, create a story about it. Even if you have really boring mathematical formula or grammatical rules, creating a story about it is worthwhile. Sometimes people have done it already, so if you google you might find them premade, but doing the work yourself helps even more. A personal story sticks better in your memory.

I often create stories for my life lessons, not only because it helps me remember, but also because it helps me teach. Teaching stories are a time honored tradition because it's easier to remember them and to apply their lessons. You might have made some already without even realizing it or have passed down teaching stories from your parents. 

Crafting a good story is wonderful and I highly recommend it. One of my favorite

Write it down

In today's world of computers it can be hard to write things down, but actually using a pen or pencil does help your brain remember better. That's why I still carry a paper planner as well as having a bullet journal. Writing things down is a great help in remembering things even if you throw away the paper later. An easy way to notice that is when you write a shopping list, even if if you forget it at home, you remember more of what you needed then if you didn't do it. 

I personally don't like that paper isn't searchable, so often, I also digitize things for myself. I still notice that I retain more when I write it down first though. So all my prep work for clients always start as paper notes.  

Want to share your favorite ways of remembering lessons? I'd love to hear from you in the comments, or you can email me or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Dear people,

I've already wrote about grounding and cleansing, both very basic but important healing tools when you feel something is amiss in your energy flow, energy body or life. Grounding helps you stay connected to your body and the now and doing it regularly helps you stay vibrant and alive. Cleansing helps release old energy and outside influences, so doing that regularly means that you can easily process what happens to you. Another very important tool is centering, which is the art of being fully within yourself. 

When do you need centering?

We all have things that can knock us off center: negative things like loss, trauma or burnout, but positive emotional events like promotion, weddings, pregnancy also count. Sometimes our lives change drastically and we feel like we don't know who we are anymore. This is when we desperately need centering. When we are off center we often feel increased stress, despair or anxious feelings and can create negative outcomes due to bad decision making. A decision based on fear, even when getting great results, always feels off. 

Rarely, we can drift off center, due to being very busy with others or having very little free time. Bit by bit we forget who we are, lose hobbies, our values and of course connection with ourselves. Sometimes people find this out after the end of relationship or during a holiday when they finally have time to reflect. This kind of drift can have serious negative consequences, because once we are centered again, a lot of our life will feel like it no longer fits. 

If you don't center yourself, you could experience illness to help you recenter, because once we can't be busy with our day to day and are stuck in bed, we have to spend the time to rest and reflect.  

I recommend you regularly center yourself to make sure you aren't experiencing drift and are able to deal with the up and downs of life. I usually center every week, unless there are massive changes or I'm in a very emotional situation, in which case I will do it more often. 

How do you center yourself?

There are many different ways in which we can center ourselves. Some are personal, they remind you of your own center, while others are common tips that help you find space, time and reflection. Depending on what knocked you out of your center, some centering tools are more appropriate then others. 

To give you a good idea on what can help, I've split different centering tools based on what caused the situation of being off center, but for the best results, just check what calls out to you. Often, we are subconsciously looking to center ourselves.

Centering tools after drifting

If you are off center due to drift, so you feel like your life doesn't fit, feel unfilled or struggle with meaninglessness, here are some good tools:

• Any type of self reflection (journaling, talking with friends, Dream work etc.)
  
• Any type of planning for goals/hopes (setting a schedule, making appointments etc.)
  
• Any type of self knowledge work (meditation, Dream work, Guidance from Guides etc.)
  
• Do the Interview Yourself-exercise
• Do the Taking Charge of Changes - exercise
• Use the True Unity videos on my YouTube channel like for example Releasing despair, Meaninglessness or Breaking Free from a Rut.
  

Centering tools after drastic changes

If you feel off center due to drastic changes in your life, it matters of course if those are positive or negative, but most tools that help release or process emotions will help regardless of what those emotions are. So here are some good tools after drastic changes:

• Any type of emotional expression (writing a letter, talking with friends, creative pursuits etc.)
• Any type of emotional processing (EFT, cleansing in combination with other exercises etc.) 
• Anything that increases Positive Flow (Affirmations, Creating Joy Videos etc.)
  
• Reconnecting with your body (exercise, yoga, hand on stomach/heart)
• Reconnecting with a positive habit/ritual
  
• Taking the time to rest 
• Taking the time to reflect (see tools above)
  

Personal centering tools

Depending on who you are and what you need, you might find yourself centered in different ways. Sometimes I ask people to imagine what their place of Power looks like, their own Inner Strength. For some people it's a mountain, while others see a meadow or an object or color. Often, those are places or activities, that help us center. While it's not always possible to go to the mountains or do an activity,  you can watch movies, look at photos or bring an object to get in touch with that energy. 

For some people being alone might help you center, because you are away from people and can focus on yourself. While other people feel centered around friends, family or loved ones, because those people remind them who they are and surround them with love. 

Spending some time to get to know your own centering activities/places or objects is really useful. I highly recommend finding and creating your own centering rituals or tools.

Do you want to share your experiences with centering? You can email me, post a comment on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Dear people,

A lot of people work with (guardian) Angels and with Guides, but you can also work with Animal Totems. While most people who are attracted to Animal Totems practice some form of Shamanism or are connected to Native Tribes, not all people would consider themselves part of that tradition. Some just feel connected to nature or natural energy, find a totem while meditating or keep feeling attracted to Animal Totems. So let's talk today about what they are.

Animal Totem vs Animal

While an animal can guide and give wisdom, because who hasn't been taught a lesson by their pet or even just a wild animal, Animal Totems are different. Energetically speaking, you can connect to their energy and really feel a wise and different energy greet you. Animal Totems are beyond the animal itself, as they contain wisdom and intelligence, but also lessons mirrored with the actual animal. 

Animal Totem vs other guiding energies

I think like calls to like, so if you are attracted to Animal Totems, I'd advise you to welcome their guidance. Compared to other guiding energies, I find Animal Totems to have more lessons that mirror nature: there is no good or bad, just different ways of being. All emotions are contained in nature, as she can bring peace, but also show anger. There is more understanding of natural cycles compared to other guiding energies.

While Guides or Ancestors might be focused on things more in the human world and Angels might bring more grace and protection, Animal Totems help you understand yourself and your place in the world. If you want to read more about different guiding energies, check out this blog post.

Connecting to Animal Totems

There are many ways to connect to Animal Totems. You can draw cards (Animal Card Oracles), meditate, connect to the animal and through them to the Animal Totem or even do any type of shamanic ritual or exercise like soul journey's or visiting different planes. 

The easiest is to connect through the animal. If you keep seeing a certain animal (in the flesh or in images, movies or in other ways) welcome them into your life. Ask that you might understand what it is that they are telling you can simply listen or watch the animal. Googling on the name of an Animal Totem will also bring you common lessons and information.

Deeper work with Animal Totems

If you want to you can work deeper with Animal Totems by connecting with them daily, inviting them into your life and listening to their advice. Every single encounter will help you build a stronger connection and allow you to connect with more ease. You can choose to ask for advice for your life, but also for help with a certain project or goal.

Do you want to share your experiences with Animal Totems? You can email me, post a comment on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.