Welcome at Flow of Miracles

Dear People,

It's no secret that a lot of us have problems letting go. Yet holding on to things, people or patterns that don't suit us anymore is a negative influence in our life. Mostly when letting go we focus on that negativity to 'convince' ourselves or we try to force ourselves to move on. Today I'm going to talk about a positive way to let go; through gratefulness.

Gratefulness in Letting go of things
The easiest way to let gratefulness in is if you want to let go of something that has served you for a long time, but isn't right for you any more. Maybe it's that favorite dress that you really should throw out or it's that necklace that you loved as a young teen but doesn't fit your style anymore. Or that hobby you used to love, but now don't really feel that connected too anymore.

If we would keep all the things that we feel sentimental about, our homes would overflow fast. Yes, it can be hard to let go of things, but by practicing gratefulness we can let go of them easier. If you still feel you can't let go of it after this exercise, you can also consider taking a photo or keep a small part as a memento.

Exercise

1. Hold on to the thing you want to let go of
2. You can touch, smell, hug the item while doing this exercise
3. Replay in your mind all the beautiful memories you have with this item
4. Sit quietly for a while with this item 
5. Thank this item for the role it has played in  your life
6. Put this item gently way - maybe in a pile to donate or to throw out
7. Take a deep breath and say I release this item in gratitude

Gratefulness in Letting go by learning the lesson
Sometimes it's very hard to go of our negativity. We stay angry, we keep being in a tantrum because of 'unfairness' or we keep getting stuck in the same pattern that has negative consequences for us. It's pretty hard to let go of this as most of us just want the other person or the situation to change.

Since we have no control over that but we can deal with our own feelings, the healthy solution is to do that and let go. Letting go again, can be done on focusing on the emotions surrounding the situation, but we can also use our soul knowledge to learn the lesson and move on.

Exercise

1. Ask your soul wisdom to shine a light on the situation
2. Gently breath in and out
3. Put your thoughts towards the situation
4. Ask gently: "What is my lesson in this?"
5. Listen to the answer and allow it's positive nature to help you grow
6. Thank this situation for the role it played in your life
7. Take a deep breath and say I release this situation in gratitude

If you don't get a positive answer, please keep on asking what the lesson is. A lesson is always positive, it's to help us grow as people and to show us our strengths and weaknesses. If you get a negative answer, it's often our ego that fills in the blanks or our emotions or fears.

Want to share your letting go story? Post a message to the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me.

Dear People,

We all have goals in our lives that we want to achieve, but quite often, we have some obstacles in the way. Our attitude is very important and yet it's often the most difficult thing to change. We want what we want and we want it now! Yet, today, I'm writing on how to stay in a positive flow if you change this thought pattern, because the results are really worthwhile. You might not reach your goals sooner, but you will reach them in a healthier way.

Steamroller attitude
A lot of time steamroller attitude is hidden under positive words like: disciplined, high achiever, dedicated, driven and not acknowledged as a problem. When people have inherited this attitude from their parents or when it's expected of them from society, their bosses or spouses it can be even harder to break free. Often it's considered necessary for promotions, but it isn't.

We do talk about steam rolling other people: talking over them and interjecting your own sentiment. The attitude that I'm talking about when working towards our goals and dealing with obstacles is the same type of attitude, only instead of rolling over other people, you are doing it to yourself, in the name of achieving your goal.

Steam roller attitude is:

• normal healthy arguments are rejected
• normal healthy boundaries are crossed
• feelings are repressed
• warnings are ignored

So what happens? Usually people get physical complaints, problems with spouses, family or friends, starting to feel emotionally blank and lose touch with their inner power. The goal gets achieved and for some people this is good enough. However, it does usually have painful consequences, which sometimes are only found out long after the fact. In the end, we will pay the price.

Examples:

• Finishing a project at work or at school at the expense of your body (skip on sleep and/or food and feel grumpy and overly tired)
• Being so focused on your career at the expense of your social life (stressed, not spending time with others, not able to build or support meaningful relationships etc.)
• Trying to lose weight in dangerous ways
• Doing fertility treatments when your body or relationship isn't ready for them

Dear People,

A lot of us give a lot and it's easy to forget our own boundaries and to feel burnt out. We are tired of helping others and we just want to be left alone or we try to manipulate others to give to us, because we aren't receiving enough. This is a serious issue that can damage our relationships with other people and definitely the one we have with ourselves.  So today I'll talk about how to keep your positive flow with giving!

Remove any expectations
I'm sure we all have been on the receiving end of receiving a gift and having the giver expect us to be grateful, happy, excited or any other mix of feelings. It makes it very awkward when we don't like the gift or when we feel pressured into giving back something (time, energy, a favor, a gift etc.). This type of giving and receiving diminishes both people.

So when you plan to give something, check with yourself: would you be very sad if the person doesn't like it, are you giving it because you wish for something in return (thanks, a favor, a gift) or to make yourself feel superior? We all fall into these types of traps, so don't worry, just do the work necessary to heal these expectations so you can give freely.

Make sure you really want to give what you are giving
Sometimes we feel obligated to give (time, energy, a favor, a gift) because the receiver is family, or a good friend or our boss. When we feel obligated, the gift isn't given freely, and again it will diminish both parties. Or we might feel that before we give something, we receive an apology or build a better bond.

When you don't feel that you can give this particular thing freely, check what you can give freely. It might be less time, a less expensive gift, good advice or  an opening to talk and air out your feelings

Make sure you give enough to yourself
Sometimes we are so caught up in what other people need, want or require from us, that we forget to give to ourselves. This is especially easy if we have children, but we can also be caught up in family, spouses or even our boss!

So check your own needs regularly to make sure you have what you need to feel happy and whole. Don't be shy about buying yourself a gift or taking time for just yourself.

Make sure you receive back
If giving becomes one sided for a long time, our relationships suffer. So make sure that you receive back, either by accepting what another person offers or by asking for things yourself. If you find yourself saying: "No, it's no problem" or "It's fine", check yourself. Often we have learned that this is polite but having a healthy giving flow is much more important then being polite!

Want to share more about giving and receiving? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me.

Dear People,

When we are in the positive flow it feels like making changes is effortless. Also, getting great results helps us to stay motivated and happy. This cycle is extremely joyful when you manage to keep it flowing, so that's why today I'm writing about taking charge of changes in your life. No matter what you want to change, moving forward towards a happier, joyfuller and more fulfilled path is going to be great for you.

Change Busters
There are a lot of reasons why we can say we want a certain change (lose weight, exercise more, meditate more often, switch jobs etc.), but then we don't actually do anything to accomplish them. So if you want to stay in the positive flow, here is your work sheet to first on what not to do:

1. Overwhelm yourself. Don't think you can plan 5 times a week gym time if all you normally do is sit on the couch. Make sure your changes are realistic, by fitting them in your current life (taking into account your energy levels and time constraints).
2. Try to make multiple changes at once. Tackle one area first and and only when it has become routine and you do it 4 out of 5 times (or 9 out of 10), move forward towards something new
3. Make sure you really want to make that change and it's not something you think you are 'supposed' to do. A positive change is only positive if it gives positive results in your life
4. Your thinking shouldn't be: 'this is hard', 'this is never going to work', but instead should be this (small) step is worthwhile and I'm going to discover what it does for me

Making the Change Exercise
Plan first, work later, is my motto for a productive and joyful day, so that's why this exercise starts with a planning stage.

Planning Stage:

• Write down what you want to add or remove from your routine
• If it's something you want to add, check what should be removed or reduced so you have time and energy for the change you want to make
• If it's something you want to remove, check what need it fills so you know what it's present in your life and how you need to fill that need in a joyful and healthy way. 
• Plan when you are going to do that (day & time) and how often

Reflection Stage:

• Reflect on how your plan matches your reality. It's never going to match 100%, but see what happened and what you can do about it. If you didn't stick to it, was it because of time or energy issues (recharge first), was it becomes of lack of motivation (how much do you want this change) or was it because of outside forces (are your boundaries healthy? are you happy with what you did instead?).
• Praise yourself for every single time you managed to keep to your plan. Do a little happy dance, pat yourself on the back, celebrate with a cup of tea or coffee etc.  It's important to keep the positive flow going and the resulting joy flowing.
• Check if this change has become routine and if not, how much more do you need to invest in it. Adjust your plan accordingly. If it is, simply plan your next positive step or take a set time to enjoy your accomplishment.

Sample:
Suppose I want to mediate more to be more mindful during my day. I currently meditate once a month. So daily meditation should either be short (5 minute max) or I should plan a weekly meditation that last longer (20 minute max). Else, it will overwhelm me.

If I choose a weekly longer meditation, it's likely that I will pick the weekend for that, so then I need to see what I normally do in my weekend. Maybe I need to go to bed a little earlier and wake up earlier for a meditation before the kids are awake. Maybe I need to stop zoning out in front of the television and do an evening meditation before bed.

If I pick a daily meditation, I need to see where I plan that. Morning which means a better morning routine (can't hurry out the door after meditation) or evening which means a better evening routine (going to bed on time).

After a week or 3 it's time for reflection if you chose a weekly meditation. How did this choice work for me? Do I want to switch to daily or do I want to switch to longer meditation? How did it impact my life? Am I happier and more mindful? Is this change positive?

If you chose daily meditation after 10-15 days you want to check up on yourself. How many days did you meditate? If you did it, did you feel better that day and the day after? On days you didn't, what happened?

Have a change you want to make in your life? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me to make it happen.

Dear People,

We all want a spring in our step: to feel energetic and happy and not to just live our lives stuck in a pattern that doesn't make us happy. Sometimes it's hard to see what truly fulfils us so today I'm writing about how to get that spring in your step back with a little exercise.

Spring in your step feeling
Maybe you are remembering that day that you woke up wonderfully and everything just went your way. Or that wonderful day on your holiday or any other time when you felt like the King/Queen of the World.

This is a lovely feeling and I strive to feel it at least once weekly, working towards feeling it daily. If you have never felt this, please try some of the tips or try the exercise.

Tips to introduce a spring in your step

1. Set a Goal, work towards it and celebrate when you hit it.
2. Indulge in a 'guilty' pleasure
3. Dance, sing or express yourself in other ways
4. Exercise to reconnect with your body
5. Paint, Draw or express yourself creatively in other ways
6. Do something your passionate about
7. Laugh 
8. Meditate

Spring in your Step Exercise
This exercise is specifically to build up yourself up if you are tired and stressed, towards a peaceful feeling and then towards passion, energetic and spring in your step level.



Reducing Stress
Close your eyes
Breath in softly, slowly and deeply
Allow yourself to feel your body
Place your hands on your belly around your hara point (a little below the belly button)
Repeat the mantra: I am strong enough to deal with life easily
Stay until you feel strong and powerful and notice relaxation in your whole body

Promoting Peace
Close your eyes
Breath in softly, slowly and deeply
 Place your hands around your heart
Repeat the mantra: I feel peace in my heart
Stay until you feel at peace

Spring in your Step
Open your eyes
Smile at yourself
Shake your body until you feel passion flowing
Joyfully laugh or dance or move in any way that makes you happy
Sing or affirm something that makes you happy
Leave to dance through your life
 

Want to share what gives you a spring in your step? Comment on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.

Dear People,

I'm starting a new series in 2016 on how to maintain your positive flow. A lot of people know how big a fan I am on focusing on the positive while not denying reality. We can't always (immediately) change our circumstances, but we can always change our mindset. So today's exercise is about how to help change your mindset.

Theory: Emotional Orchestra
During the day, we have hundreds of emotions that flit through our mind, body and energy field as messages. Some we barely acknowledge as they are fleeting, while others can stay there for hours or even days.

Like an orchestra you can see and hear what's going in your life. If you are worried and stressed, your background music might be v. loud and jarring, if you are happy and content it might be joyous and soft. You can change the sound of your orchestra by adding in positive voices by using gratitude, giving, receiving, self-care, love and kindness. You can help reduce negativity by letting go of worries, stress, anger, sadness and other painful feelings, venting, setting appropriate boundaries and cutting cords.

I regularly check in on my emotional orchestra to make sure I have a positive flow in my life. It always tells me when I need some time to recharge. Once you pay attention to it, your life will become much more peaceful, happier and most of all easier!

Exercise: Listening to your Emotional Orchestra
Make sure you have 10-15 minutes to do this exercise and sit in a quiet room. If you can't spare the time, try to do a quick check up.

• Once you are sitting close your eyes
• Feel your body - which parts are tense, painful or out of sorts. Why is that happening? What emotions, thoughts or behavior is associated with it? Take some long deep breaths to relax your body, stretch or massage if necessary and take appropriate action
• Gauge your mind - is it peaceful or stressed? What thoughts/worries are running through your mind? Are they realistic? Is there something that can be done? Take some long deep breaths to relax your mind, use positive affirmations or meditation and take appropriate action
• Feel your mood - is it positive or negative? What kind of emotions are you feeling? Is there something you haven't dealt it? Take some deep long breaths to relax yourself and brighten your mood, use gratitude exercises or happy video's and take appropriate action

Gently open your eyes and write down what you have felt and experienced and what you feel you should do. Once in a while, reflect on what you have written. You might start seeing patterns that you need to deal with to have a happier life.

Example:

I feel my body. 

At this moment I feel my shoulders and neck which are tense. I know I feel a little too responsible for somebody else in my life. I decide to affirm that I am not responsible and take some deep breaths. I can feel the tension getting less. It's not pain free, but much improved. I stretch a little. I decide to check up on myself in a few hours as I might need to recenter again. 

I also feel tension around my stomach area. I'm a little upset at behavior of someone else this morning. I recognize I need to address this with the person later on the day. While it might be small thing, it's something that is still bothering me, so I need to share it. I take a few deep breaths and and yawn out the last of my tension.

My body is a little tired - I was awoken from sleep too early. So I resolve to have a slightly easier day then planned or to take a cat nap.

I feel my mind.

At this moment I'm considering my housing situation. I'm a little worried that I don't have a solid plan and that I'm not sure that I'm doing what's right for me. I recognize that it's not urgent - but that I do need some time to evaluate what I need and listen to what's right for me. I take some time to quiet my mind and it's incessant worries. 

My mind is otherwise alert and happy. I have some things that I want to work on today that make me happy and excited.

I feel my emotions

I'm a little miffed. I know that I'm dealing with a pattern within myself that isn't balanced yet. It needs to be healed and I hate that I have to deal with it. Emotionally, I want to react like a 2 year old shouting NO NO NO NO and putting my fingers in my ears. Instead, I choose to be an adult and laugh at my demons. I know when I dealt with this I will have a renewed wave of energy and be on a happier and healthier footing then before. I take some time to improve my attitude and breath through my resistance. I start seeing some solutions. 

Overall, I recognize that I'm doing pretty good (*yay*), but I have some work to do. This small check up already allows me to feel much more at peace, but I resolve to do a little extra work this afternoon.

This exercise is part of the training I started in 2016 (Met Hart en Ziel Leven training). If you are interested in joining in on a later training date, please contact me. If you want to comment on this exercise, please do so on the Blog, Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice!