Dear people,
A few weeks ago I did my Dutch Column about our Positive Voice. Many of us know how to easy it is to be critical of our bodies, our behavior and ourselves. Building our Positive Voice means we build self value, self acceptance and self love. Yet it seems many of us don't know how to do that as negative self talk is so ingrained that positive self talk doesn't feel like an option. So today I'm writing about finding and supporting your Inner Cheerleader to support yourself.
Positive vs Negative messages
Research says we need 5-10 positive messages to negate 1 negative message. Yet when we grow up we are surrounded by negative messages. Don't do this - don't do that - you didn't study enough - you didn't eat enough vegetables - you ... fill in the blanks. Our parents, our teachers, our peers and ultimately we ourselves, talk negatively about ourselves.
That's why many of us have a big negative critical voice that is talking to us every single day. It will say things like: "I can't do this/I can't do that", "I'm not smart/beautiful/worthy" etc. etc. Yet, our positive voice should be there to counteract this poison by telling us: "I can give it a shot, it might be easier then I think, I am smart/beautiful/worthy just the way I am.".
If you notice your critical voice sounding like your parent or specific teacher, it's very worthwhile to do some cord cutting and release that energy. We do not need somebody else's judgement clouding our own. We need to decide what we value, not what we have been told to value.
Reducing your Critical Voice
If you are a parent, don't think you need to be positive at all times to your child. Just separate the behavior from the child. Instead of saying: "You are dumb", we need to practice saying "that wasn't a smart thing to do". The person isn't being judged, but the behavior is.
So if you hear yourself saying that to your child or yourself, please try to make an effort to change your language. What we choose to say and how we choose to say it matters. It will take some getting used to, but it's very worthwhile.
Building your inner cheerleader
Expect to feel a bit uncomfortable when you first start building your positive voice. We aren't used to giving ourselves a praise, a pep-talk or validation. Yet, it's so important to learn to give yourself positive self talk. You can use compliments you've heard from others about yourself, use affirmations or try talking to yourself as if you are your own best friend.
Positive Voice exercise:
- Take around 10-20 minutes for this exercise
- Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
- Ask for Higher Power/Heaven/The Universe/God to return you to a place of self love and self value
- Gently breathe in this atmosphere
- Open yourself up to listening what messages and inspiration is there for you
- Repeat them out loud
- Whenever you feel ready - thank Higher Power/Heaven/The Universe/God
- Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding
- Do what you promised or plan to do it in the agreed upon timeframe
If you want to share your experience or give feedback on my exercise? Email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram. Or post a comment below the YouTube video Positive Voice from my Dutch Column.
I write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a lower level that resonates and then move your way up.
Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).