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Dear people,

I always hear people say: I want to get healthy/I want to get better. Even so, being sick can be extremely attractive and feel like it gives us an advantage. Usually we hide this deep in our subconscious and refuse to admit it, but occasionally I have people being honest and admit to it. I always reiterate that if this is going on in your life, you either have a cycle of sickness/health that keeps on repeating or you simply never get healthy. So today, let's see why being sick can feel like an advantage and heal that pattern.

Being sick means you allow yourself more

This pattern tends to start when we are children. When you are sick, you might be allowed to lay on the couch and get some (more) TV time. You don't have to go to school and you can do some things you like better. 

As adults, we allow ourselves more too. People tell me that they allow themselves their favorite foods or to skip a dreaded chore. They can say no to something they don't like, because they feel sick, so they can do this without any guilt.

I especially see this happening when people have cancer. They keep telling themselves: "I don't have to do this/can give myself this, because I have cancer". They feel more empowered to make choices that suit them, without guilt, but at the same time, by using their illness as a reason, it's an advantage to be sick.

It's normal to take a break, ease up on things and give your body time to rest and heal when you are sick. However, if you notice you give yourself things when you are sick that you refuse to give yourself when you are healthy, there is trouble coming your way. Subconsciously you know that if you are sick, you get more, so being sick becomes attractive.

Sometimes we can see this in others, that they only get sick just before something they don't want to do or are too scared to do. Often people will say: "oh it's the stress of x", but sometimes it's just that being sick gives us an excuse and we want that advantage.

Being sick means you receive more

When we have a great support system, that often means that when we are sick, we will receive things we otherwise won't. We might receive more care, as somebody might come over and help us. We might feel more loved and more supported, because we get more time and attention from people who love us or receive sympathy or comfort. 

While it's nice to be taken care of, it's even nicer to spend time with the people we love in good health. So it's trap to think that when we are sick, we will get more. Especially because people will get exhausted taking care of us if we keep on getting sick or staying sick. Caregiver burnout is real and we do notice when somebody is getting sick often and not taking care of themselves. Our empathy has limits, meaning that this road often leads to anger on the side of the sick person, who keeps demanding more and anger on the healthy person who wants to live their life.

Being sick means you have to do less

If you have high expectations of yourself, being sick can also be an advantage, because you finally let those go. If you are sick, you don't have to do so much, you can finally rest or relax or do something that isn't productive or is just for yourself. People will leave you alone, because you are sick, so you don't have to hold healthy boundaries.

I've always seen a lot of people who don't allow themselves get sick in their holidays. It's like the body says: "finally, I can rest, so I'm just going to collapse now" or the mind says: "the only way I can rest is if I'm sick".

If you notice this pattern, definitely make sure you take enough breaks and add in relaxation in your daily schedule. While being a workaholic is celebrated in many societies it fails to make us happy and definitely is unhealthy.

Healing the pattern

If you feel you recognize some of this thinking, don't despair. It's quite an easy trap to fall into, but healing it will give great results. For this exercise take around 5-10 minutes.

• Imagine two sides of yourself and place them left and right of you
• The left side is the side that wants to stay or get sick. Listen to their reasons, justifications and complaints.
• The right side is the side that says it wants to be healthy. Listen to it's advice and often very high expectations, the stress it has in wanting to be 100% healthy.
• Ask Higher Power (God, Heaven, the Universe, Angels, your Guides) to melt both these sides into base energy of health and light
• Ask to have this energy placed in both of your hands and gently move them together. Fold your hands and them move them to your heart. 
• Breathe in and out until you feel at peace
• Thank Higher Power

You can repeat this exercise if you feel you have more layers of yourself who want to stay or be sick. 

If you want to share the results of this exercise or your thoughts, leave a comment on this Blog, my Facebook Fan Page or contact me on Instagram.

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