Welcome at Flow of Miracles

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it). 

Dear people,

Recently I've been asked again about relationship compatibility. I bet it doesn't surprise people that often I'm being asked about true love, finding the right partner, relationship potential and dating. Sometimes a Reading is necessary to clarify issues, find new opportunities or look into the future. Sometimes a Healing is necessary to remove past relationship baggage and create a flow for the right romantic partner. While I love doing this work, I'd like to write a bit about compatibility today to help you out when you are dating or want to reflect on your relationship.

First Level of Compatibility: who to date

To make somebody interesting enough for us to date, we need to have some compatibility. If we don't connect at all with somebody, we can do a pity date, but it's not going to end up being a loving mutual beneficial relationship. 

So, we should date people with whom we have:

• Physical Compatibility - we find them attractive, we have some spark, we like what we see/feel etc.
• Emotional Compatibility - we feel a heart connection, we feel understood, engaged and like we can trust them
• Mental Compatibility - we have a mind connection - we can have great conversations together, our talks are engaging etc. 
• Spiritual Compatibility - we intuitively know that there is something there to discover or we just know something is right for us.

Not everybody will rate these compatibilities at the same level. Some people really want to feel a spiritual connection, while others will not date somebody where they feel no physical attraction. Only you know what matters to you and how you deal with things not being as compatible as you'd like. I know some people who only feel physically attracted when their minds or hearts are engaged. So they will date people without feeling that initial physical spark, knowing it will likely come in time. 

If you date people you have no connection with on any level, expect to have disappointing dates. The clearer you are on what works for you, the easiest it will be for everybody. While it can be challenging to turn down somebody, wasting their time and energy on hopeless dates that go nowhere is not kindness, but cowardice.

So you are dating, feel some spark, are a bit engaged, and you are hoping to grow into a deeper relationship. This is where I always tell people: having a long relationship is simple: simply take whatever the other person gives you and fulfill the wants/needs/desires of your partner. You won't have a happy relationship, but you'll have a long one. Because you will not leave, based on  your own wants/needs/desires and your partner won't either.

If you want to grow a happy relationship, that is fulfilling and will be sustainable, you need to invest the time. You need to start figuring out what each others goals and values are and how compatible those are. While I wish there was a short cut into finding out true love on the first date  - there simply isn't. We only know how well we fit together, how trustworthy somebody is and how we feel, when we spend time together and experience what a relationship is like. 

Common goals and the resulting dealbreakers all have to do with what our current life is like and what we want for our future. Kids for example are a common dealbreaker, because you can't have half a kid and you do need to know if you want to them or not. This might not be that urgent when you are in your 20s, but later on it will. Other goals have to do with our families: how much contact do we have, our work: how much time do we spend in our career, our finances: how do we like to spend and our way of life. 

Remember though: people lie about their goals. nobody is going to say: "I want to be a couch potato every weekend", so people tend to say:"it's really important for me to have a healthy body and to exercise and take care of myself". Sometimes this about wanting to look better to a prospective partner (kind of like we'd do in job interviews) and sometimes it's that we think our goals are a certain way but it actually isn't or isn't anymore. 

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I see beauty in my partner
I see beauty in my family
I see beauty in my friends
I see beauty in my colleagues
I see beauty in others

Dear people,

A lot of us have trouble staying connected to our bodies. When you do spiritual work a lot of it is centered around the higher Chakras. That might mean meditation or visualizations or other ways of connecting to your intuition and higher Power (God/The Universe/Heaven etc.). Yet, we are here on earth, in these bodies and they need attention and care too. So that's why today I'm writing about Body Scans - a technique to stay connected to your body. I've also spoken about this technique in my Dutch Column: Spiritueel Moment: Body Scan.

What is a Body Scan?

A body scan sounds like I'm asking you to have an MRI, but actually, it's a technique to help you connect to your body. Generally speaking, there are two ways to do this technique. One way is to connect through your body, most commonly by tensing and releasing your muscles or by placing your hand upon certain body parts. Another option is to visualize and mentally connect to each area of your body. 

Depending on what you are trying to accomplish, one method might be easier or better then the other, but I highly recommend that you get adept in both of them.

Why do a Body Scan?

Life gets busy and when it does, we usually lose connection to our bodies. We rush through things, forget to eat, have less sleep then we should, the ways in which we can neglect or ignore our bodies messages are almost endless. So then we get surprised by a nasty flu or cold, by how tired we are or why we suddenly snap at somebody. 

By doing a body scan regularly, you notice what is happening within your body and thus within yourself. You can make sure that small ailments don't become bigger, find yourself with more energy an a happier and healthier body. Who needs more reason then that?

When to do a Body Scan

You should definitely regularly do a Body Scan. I'd recommend at least once a month and more often if you find yourself disconnected from your body due to chronic illness, stress or other reasons. You can remind yourself to do it on the first Saturday of the month for example.

Exercise: Body Scan with muscles

If you prefer to listen, you can find a Dutch spoken Body Scan in my Dutch Column: Spiritueel Moment: Body Scan. Read the instructions of this exercise thoroughly and then do the scan step by step.

Breathe in with tensing and breathe out with relaxing if you do a Body Scan with your muscles. I wrote this for an upwards flow, but if you want to do a downwards flow, start at the bottom.  

• Find a comfortable place to lay down or sit down 
• Make sure you aren't disturbed for 10-15 minutes
• Gently tense your toes and then relax them
• Move your feet upwards and then relax them
• Gently tense your calves by moving your feet of the floor and then relax them
• Gently tense your upper legs and then relax them
• Gently tense your glutes (buttocks) and then relax them
• Gently tense your stomach and then relax it
• Gently tense your diaphragm and then relax it
• Gently pull up your shoulders and then relax them
• Gently tense your hands into fists and then relax them 
• Gently tense your jaw and then relax it
• Gently raise your eye brows and then relax them 
  
• End the exercise by sitting quietly for a bit and feel the relaxed state of all those muscles
• Drift off into sleep or get up, drink something and continue your day

Exercise: Body Scan with hands

Make sure you place your hands for at least a full breath in and out on each body part. If you feel the need to linger at a certain spot, do so for as long as needed. You might feel warmth or cold as your hands help your energy flow. 

If you can't comfortably put your hands on a certain part, either move that part closer to you (for example: laying down and touching your feet is impossible, unless you bend your knees) or do the parts with intention until you can easily reach. Do not overextend yourself. I wrote this for an downwards flow, but if you want an upwards flow, start at the bottom to reverse this exercise.

• Find a comfortable place to lay down or sit down 
• Make sure you aren't disturbed for 10-15 minutes
• Place your hands on your head 
• Place your hands on your eyes
• Place your hands on your ears
• Place your hands on your jaws/chin
• Place your hands on your throat/neck
  
• Place your hands on your shoulders (by crossing your arms)
• Place your hands on your upper arms
• Place your hands on your lower arms
• Place your hands on each other
• Place your hands on your breast/breasts
• Place your hands on your belly button/solar plexus
  
• Place your hands on your lower belly
• Place your hands on your lower back
• Place your hands on your hips
• Place your hands on your upper legs
• Place your hands on your knees
• Place your hands on your calves/lower legs
• Place your hands on your feet
• End the exercise by setting quietly for a bit
• Run some water over your hands to clear out any old energy
• Drift off into sleep or get up, drink something and continue your day

Exercise: Body Scan with intention

Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page or watch the past Instagram Live about affirmations. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice or by e-mail.

Dear People,

I recently spoke about walking meditation on the radio in my Dutch Spiritual Column, but I'm sharing some more thoughts and exercises about this technique today. I love so many forms of meditation, but walking meditation is so suited to many people, that I want to share more about it. I've also already written about my own meditation practices, but today I'm writing more specifically about walking meditations.

Why try a walking meditation?

For a lot of us - the idea of sitting still and meditating is quite daunting. We keep feeling distracted by our body, our thoughts and our position. Sitting still is definitely not everybody's cup of tea. Yet, a lot of us have felt the freeing clearheaded feeling that can be created when our body is in motion. It might be while we are running, using a swing set or rocking a baby. Repetitive motion can help us get into a trance like state.

So it's no surprise that a walking meditation is an easier way to get into a meditative trance for a lot of people. And, of course, in our busy lives, it's nice to have the additional benefits of walking on top of the benefits of our meditation practice. So even if you've been discouraged with other ways of meditation, I highly recommend you at least give walking meditation a try.

Basic needs for walking meditation

Yourself and a place to walk are basically the most important things. I recommend wearing clothing and shoes that are comfortable for you and no jewelry. That means you won't be distracted by tight fitting clothing or sounds as you walk and your feet won't hurt. And if you want to sit and rest after your walk, you are comfortable and can extend your trance like state. 

As for the place: you can do walking meditation everywhere, even in your own living room. I do recommend that you walk somewhere safe. Especially if you want to walk with your eyes closed. So while technically you can do a walking meditation by walking in your neighbourhood, if it's busy, I don't recommend doing it. Not only are busy streets distracting, you can also harm yourself if you do reach a meditative trance.

Best place outside for me is usually the beach when it's not busy (spring/fall season), because you have a wide open space with not much people. That means that you have a lot of visibility. Sounds of the sea/ocean also work to help bring me in a meditative state. Another good option is usually a park or forest when there aren't much people. Or a mountain path or pasture. Being in nature means it's easier to be meditative, but please be mindful of your safety. 

 
If you want to walk inside your own home, make sure to clear a space around you. If your walking meditation keeps getting disrupted because you need to step over things or turn very quickly, that usually doesn't work. We all like to have at least a couple of strides in each direction.

A basic walking meditation

• Prep: wear comfortable clothing, shoes and no jewelry. Bring a snack and a bottle of water (or other beverage) 
• Select (or prepare) a safe area in which you are going to do your meditation 
• Start walking in your natural pace
  
• Become mindful of your pace, your body and yourself
  
• Walk in a soothing rhythm or pace that allows you to walk for a length of time and to 'zone out with your thoughts'
• Once you are at peace - sit down, eat and drink something
• If needed, do a grounding exercise
  

Deepening your walking meditation practice

Once you have the basics down and feel that walking meditation is something you'd like to do more often, there are many variations you can do to see what works best for you. You can also change your walking meditation practice depending on what your goal is for the meditation. 

Here are some tips on what to try:

• Walking with your eyes closed or open. If you do closed, the best way to do this is to create a circle and walk safely in it or to create a square (for example, 4 steps forward, turn right, 4 steps forward, turn right, 4 steps forward, turn right,  4 steps forward and you are back at your beginning). I do not recommend walking with your eyes closed if you have not set a safe path for yourself! 
• Changing the pace of your strides. Going from fast to slow or standstill if you need more peace or moving from a stressful pacing towards a more relaxed stride. It's also possible to move from slow to increased pace, for example if your goal is to accelerate something in your life. It's much harder to reach a meditative trance by going faster though. Changing pace during the meditation can also help, if you want to get more in touch with the cycle of life. Or just noticing you do this subconsciously (speeding up or slowing down).
• Stopping and starting at places in your meditation. You can do this to get more viewpoints, tune into your body, take time to see what your natural pace is, acknowledge what's changing during the meditation and for many other reasons.
  
• Walking in a pattern. Different patterns help us with different things. A square helps with feeling solid, a circle is a closed loop, a spiral inwards can help introspection and one outwards can help with goal setting and connecting with life, a triangle can help with different viewpoints or with different aspects of ourselves or a problem. Or walk a trail with your eyes open and acknowledge what you see, hear and feel during it.
  
• Walking with intention - you can do a mantra during the walk or bring an energy with you (for example by drawing one of my 100% Positivity Oracle Cards - which you can do for free on my website).  
• Walking with a question or with a issue, allowing inspiration and higher power to solve it for you.
  

As you can see, walking meditation is quite versatile. I'd love to hear how you experience walking meditation! Post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram. Or listen to my Dutch Column: Spiritueel Moment Loopmeditatie and leave a comment there! I sometimes host walking meditations or other meditation in my practice in Delft, The Netherlands or the surrounding area. If you are interested, sign up to the Monthly Newsletter to be the first to know of any meditation events.

Dear People,

I recently spoke about Pendulums on the radio in my Dutch Spiritual Column, but thought I'd write a blog post about it as well. I did mention using a pendulum in my blog post concerning if I use my gifts to find lost items but I'd like to expand on what you can use this spiritual technique for and how to try it out at home. If you want to know more about this technique you can also listen to me talk about it in my Dutch Column: Spiritueel Moment Pendelen.

Why use a Pendulum?

I find a pendulum to be a very easily accessible spiritual tool. Unlike Tarot or Oracle Cards, most people already own something that they can use as a pendulum. You can use a key chain, a necklace with a pendant or basically anything that has a string and a heavier object on it.

Besides having the tool readily available to most people, the basic Yes/No swings of a pendulum are usually easy to discern. So you can teach somebody how to work with a pendulum in just a few minutes - although it's a lot harder to get consistent good results of course. Practice makes perfect as always.

When working with a pendulum it's also very quick to get answers and it's quick to get several answer in a row. That means that while basic Yes/No questions might not seem very useful to many people, they can be used to narrow down answers fast. For example: Is my phone in the house / Is on the first first floor / is it in my bed room / is it on the floor / hidden in something else etc. etc.

Pendulum Pitfalls

When doing any intuitive work, it's often hard to distinguish between what we want to be true, what we fear to be true and what our intuition is actually telling us. When using a pendulum, it's easy to subconsciously try to influence the result due to our movements. So it's very important to keep your arm and hand steady, so it's actually the pendulum doing the answering and not your own subconscious. I've seen people move their arms/hands and being unaware that they are influencing their results. It helps to watch yourself in a mirror or to close your eyes until you feel a good swing and then check your results.

Another disadvantage of the Pendulum is that it doesn't give much extra information. You need to ask it the right questions to move forward. And if you forget an aspect, you might not get the full picture. For example, if you are asking about job offers and you forget to ask if a better offer is coming, you might choose the best offer available to you that you got answers on. When working with Oracle or Tarot Cards you can easily draw one card for insight and that you missed something and what it is. You can ask your pendulum if you are missing something, but then you'd have to ask a lot of questions to figure out what exactly it is. 

Pendulum Charts

If you want a range of answers fast, you can use a Pendulum Chart. If you have several options, you can put them in a chart and see what your pendulum indicates. If you get a good feel for it, you can make charts with a lot of options in them. I recommend using a circle, so it's easy to use. However, when you are starting, having a chart with 4 quadrants makes it easier to see what answer is being indicated. 

Pendulum Tips

Feel inspired to give it a try? Here are some quick tips to use a pendulum/

• Make sure your position your arm and hand correctly. You can see how I do it in my Creating Joy: Pendulums Video
  
• While it's tempting to give your pendulum a big swing, just waiting patiently while it picks up some speed usually gives the best results.
  
• If you get tired out fast, it often means your pendulum is too heavy - so if you use a necklace, use one with a lighter pendant and if you use a key chain, remove some keys from it.
  
• Make sure you ask first what indicates a yes and what indicates a no. It can be different depending on your pendulum. While it's tempting to think a yes is a vertical direction and a no is a horizontal (as shaking your head no) that is not always the case. 
• Besides using Yes/No indicators you can also create "Maybe yes/Maybe No/Maybe/Unknown. Just name the indicator and see what happens on the pendulum swing. You can see horizontal, vertical, circles, but also diagonals.
  

Pendulum Practice Questions

The best practice questions are those you do not know the answer too, but you can find out easily and quickly. That might mean you ask questions for somebody else (who knows the answers) or you ask questions that have easy to verify answers. So these questions won't give you any super useful information, but do help you practice getting a feel for the pendulum. After you've had a couple of successes, it's much easier to trust your process and ask questions that matter to you and give you new information.

Practice questions:

• How much mail is in my mailbox?
• Will my package be delivered today?
• Do I have an email from X? 
• Will I be rained on today? 
• Will I find a parking spot near X?
  
• Will I receive a phone call from X?
• Will I meet X today?
• Will I have a seat on the bus/tram/subway?
• Did I get a good grade/pass my test?
• Do I fit in my jeans/bikini/shoes?
• Do I have an assignment due this week?
• Will X be in stock at the store?
  

Want to discuss Pendulums or share your experiences? Post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram. Or listen to my Dutch Column: Spiritueel Moment Pendelen or watch Creating Joy: Pendulums and leave a comment there!

Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).

I find ease in my daily life
I find ease in my needs
I find ease in my wants
I find ease in my goals

I allow ease in my daily life
I allow ease in my needs
I allow ease in my wants
I allow ease in my goals

I embrace ease in my daily life
I embrace ease in my needs
I embrace ease in my wants
I embrace ease in my goals

I manifest ease in my body
I manifest ease in my heart
I manifest ease in my mind
I manifest ease in my spirit

I manifest ease in my daily life
I manifest ease in my health
I manifest ease in my career
I manifest ease in my love life
I manifest ease in my connections
I manifest ease in my relationships
I manifest ease in my financial flow

I manifest ease in solving my problems
I manifest ease in removing obstacles
I manifest ease in releasing trauma
I manifest ease in healing

I manifest ease in my soul path
I manifest ease in building my life
I manifest ease in living my best life

I manifest a flow of ease
I manifest a wonderful flow of ease
I manifest a successful flow of ease

Dear people,

I love Self Care, because self care is self love. For a lot of people it's really hard to take the time to take care of themselves. Life can get really busy, you might feel obligated to take care of others first or of your household or just forget about your own needs. We tend to forget we can't pour from an empty cup and that we need to prioritize our own well being. If you recognize that, it's time to do some self care! If you have only a minute, check out my Creating Joy: Self Care video.

Three Pillars of Self Care: Eat, Sleep and Relax

I always tell people that before you do other things, we need to make sure that the three pillars of self care are strong and healthy. If we don't do that, we will ultimately crash our health. The bill of neglect always comes due - we can stay upright for a while, but in the end, we can't live without food or sleep. High stress levels will definitely also take their toll. 

So yeah, it's tempting to just forget meals or eat fast food when you are busy, but it's not a healthy long term choice. It's hard to get the right amount of sleep when you are stressed and it seems so much needs to be done or to choose to relax first and pick up work later. Yet, if we do that, we will replenish our own energy reserves and have the time to find better solutions. 

Stressful situations tend to cause decisions being made out of fear, exhaustion or emotional distress. And later one, we'd see that if we had just taken a break, we'd have made better choices. It's very hard to remind ourselves of this though, because the stress and lack of sleep will definitely cloud our judgement. 

If our foundation of self care is solid, it's time to make sure our second level of self care is taken care of. This one is very personal, because what is self care for one person, is deeply annoying for another. For some, a part of self care is connecting to our loved one's and having social time. You can see quite often that when people become parents, some people really need to leave the house and go out, while others are most content just reading a book on the couch or taking some time in the bath tub.  

You are the one person who knows what you need for your well being. Don't drink coffee if you are a tea drinker or force yourself to go out if you need some me-time at home. It's fine to try out new things and see what they do for your well being, but if you have been stressed for a long time, going back to your old time favorites is often the best practice. 

By regularly taking care of your own well being, you will notice it's much easier to be flexible, generous with your time and energy and joyful. If you only do the foundation of self care, after a while, you will notice you have a feeling of discontent. We all need to make sure we do things that make us feel happy!

Last level of Self Care: Soul Purpose

When the first 2 layers of Self Care are solid, it's time for the last level. We have enough energy and vitality to take things on and we are happy enough to deal with more, it's inevitable that we are drawn toward our soul purpose.

If we don't move towards it, after a while, our lives will start feeling meaningless and we wonder what it's all for. So we will find our lessons, our opportunities and our blessings if we choose to connect to them. God, Higher Power, The Universe whatever you feel comfortable with, will continue to offer them up to us. 

If we are very tired still, we might find opportunities to heal, to be pampered or to be cared for. If we are ready to learn, we will find teachers, books, podcasts or other resources. If we are ready to help others and ourselves, we will be called to use our gifts and talents. We don't really need to do anything for our soul purpose, it will just be done through us. So listen, be guided and enjoy!

Self Care exercise 

• Take around 5-10 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
• Close your eyes 
• First, allow yourself to receive love and care from God/The Universe/Higher Power
  
• Imagine yourself being completely filled with this care
  
• Let is rejuvenate you in body, heart, mind and spirit
• Once you feel completely at peace and cared for thank God/The Universe/Higher Power
  
• Ask for any guidance on how to take care of yourself and listen closely
• You might get inspiration based on food, sleep or other activities
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding 
• Plan your self care activities and hold yourself to it!
  

If you want to share your experience with self care or my exercises, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Dear people,

Often I'd hear from people that it's bad to be sweet. Sweet is considered being a push-over, unable to set healthy boundaries, being compliant or overly accommodating. It's sad that being sweet is getting such a bad rap nowadays. Especially since sweetness can truly melt our hearts. Who doesn't like seeing sweet baby animals, sweetness of two young lovers etc. etc. So today, let's work on embracing sweetness.

Sweetness in our lives

Of course the most obvious external sweetness for a lot of people is sugar! And with how often it's added in to food, some of us have serious issues with cravings and missing the sweet taste in their life. It's important to realize that true, lasting sweetness is not one that leaves a bitter taste later. So sugar isn't actually adding any sweetness to your life - it just feels that way temporarily. I highly suggest you don't overindulge in sugar if you feel the craving of sweetness in your life. 

So what sweetness can you expect in your life that is pure and good? It could be as simple as a compliment from your boss or your friends, an unexpected gift, a nice smelling flower you encounter or a ray of sunshine that you sit in. Life is filled with sweetness that can be embraced when we see it or try to look for it. I truly believe that God is always creating sweet surprises for us.

Those kind of sweet moments, when life feels so wonderful, can pass you by, be fleeting or embraced to last longer. When we choose to live with awareness, we will find sweetness everywhere and it will fill our cup. You can also try Gratitude work to enhance the sweetness of life or try out the exercise in this blog post.

Sweetness for yourself

Often, people are stuck in their own busyness or critical voice and forget that they can also increase sweetness for themselves. You can build your own positive voice, practice self care or just do something sweet for yourself. When is the last time you gave yourself a gift? Decided to speak about yourself with kindness? Complimented something you did? And of course, watching bunny, cat or dog video's, for a reasonable time, is also a wonderful way to have your heart melt with sweetness.

While it's wonderful if other people bring us sweetness, it's also kind beautiful to gift it to ourselves. It might feel a bit uncomfortable at first - but once you get used to it, it should remind you that sweetness is to be savored.

Sweetness in our relationships

Often people tell me they long to go back to the beginning of their relationships - when their partner was still sweet. How he or she would gift them unexpected surprises, gave them more attention, did sweet things or sweet talked them. So why does that stop? Sometimes people get stuck in a rut, they might stop wooing their partner or (which is most likely) they are stuck in resentment.

So what happens if we let sweetness return in our relationships? If we do, it's easier for our partners to forgive us our mistakes, to treat us with grace and to feel like we contributing in positive ways in our lives. Do you always have to be sweet? Definitely not - but when we choose to consciously be sweet, we are enhancing our relationships. 

True sweetness is also sweet to us. You aren't buying a gift out of guilt, you are buying one because you have a sweet memory that you'd like to share (these used to be my favorite snack!) or you want to create something sweet for your partner (I saw them and I know you love them). And thus, the sweetness you give to your partner, is also creating sweetness in you. You get happier seeing their excitement, gratitude or joy. 

Besides romantic relationships, it's also wonderful to creating sweetness in all relationships. Again, don't do it out of obligation, guilt or fear. Just respond with sweetness: gifts, compliments, support, kindness etc. whenever you can. You will see your friendships, working relationships etc. flourish.

Sweetness exercise 

• Take around 10-15 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
• Close your eyes 
• First, allow yourself to receive sweetness from God/The Universe/Higher Self/Higher Power
• Imagine yourself being completely drenched in the sweetness of life
• It flows over you like a shower of multicolored rain and removes all guilt, fear and resentment
• Once you have drunk your fill - it's time to share the sweetness with the people in your life
• Imagine gifting everybody you care about this sweetness
• See it transform their lives
• Open yourself up to inspiration - you might get some good ideas for sweet acts for yourself or others
• Thank Higher Power
  
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding 
• Plan your acts of sweetness so you will do them within a reasonable time frame
  

If you want to share your experience with sweetness or my exercises, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.

Dear people,

I've already written some Inner Child Energy Affirmations, have a Creating Joy: Inner Child video and spoken about Inner Child Work in my Dutch Column, but today I'm writing about it again. That's because I find Inner Child work so important. When our Inner Child doesn't get what it needs, we either have childish tantrums and self sabotage or feelings of depression and meaninglessness. Play is so important. So, today, let's do some Inner Child work!

Inner Child

What is our Inner Child? Spiritually speaking, a lot of people believe that we have this Archetype or part of us that needs nurturing, safety, time, energy and attention. If we had a rough childhood, our Inner Child often has a lot of needs that have been neglected. Giving ourselves what we need, heals in deep ways, that help us find a better balance.

Yet even people who have had great childhoods have an Inner Child who has needs. I am on the side of C.S. Lewis who said: "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." We all need wonder, amazement, innocence, creativity, passion, trust and play just like we did in our childhood. 

Why do Inner Child Work

For one: it's nice to be balanced. Secondly, it's wonderful to have that inner child energy running through your life. And last, but not least, most humans have a tendency to take things too seriously, to get stuck in to-do lists and forget the meaning of life. 

Allow this youthful energy in your life revitalizes you and allows you to connect to yourself in a deeper way. And you can connect with people of all ages. A lot of energy healers have a youthful demeanor and/or youthful energy. It's because they are able to connect to this energy.

Doing Inner Child work also helps greatly to reduce our childish behaviors: tantrums, anger, unable to say sorry, unable to admit faults or  mistakes, rebelling, you first mentality or quid pro quo mentality. This behavior sabotages our adult connection. What we are willing to accept from children of teenagers, we won't accept from adults. 

When we are harmed in our childhoods, we sometimes stay stuck in childish behaviors. Or if we feel harmed in the same way again, we return back to that childhood state. Sometimes people are aware of the fact that they are acting like a 3, 5 or 12 year old. Sometimes it's a subconscious response. Yet in both cases doing Inner Child work will help heal us.

Inner child work ideas:

While it's nice to spend 15 minutes in meditation/manifestation or visualization, sometimes it's much simpler to reconnect to our Inner Child and access this energy within us. 

So here is a small list of idea's:

• Take the time to play (with childhood toys, with something you never got in childhood, but still long for)
• Take the time to connect to nature or animals with the wonder of a child
• Take the time to return to childhood hobby's or activities! Enjoy those nerf guns or that swing.
  
• Eat childhood favorites
• Have breakfast for dinner or eat your dessert first  
• Go to bed late 
• Have a pillow fort or sleep over
• Watch TV from your childhood
• Give your Inner Child room to tell you what it needs/wants

 Inner child work exercise:

• Take around 10-20 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
• Close your eyes
  
• Imagine yourself as a child
  
• Allow that child to be the age that is necessary for your healing - baby, toddler, child, tween, teenager etc.
• Simply hug that part of yourself and give it your love
• Tell that part you are proud
• Ask what this part of you needs from you
• Listen carefully
• Discuss if you can give that at this moment or at a later time
• Allow the Inner Child energy to revitalize you
• Say goodbye
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding 
• Do what you promised or plan to do it in the agreed upon timeframe
  

If you want to share your experience with inner child work or my exercises, you can email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.  Or post a comment below the YouTube video's: Creating Joy: Inner Child video or Inner Child Work in my Dutch Column.

Dear people,

I've already written about how an illness can be an advantage, but today I'm writing about something that can be a great solution to heal: busting your own lies. We all need to bust our own lies, so we can move forward in a healthy way. Living authentically isn't always the easiest and sometimes we delude ourselves instead of facing the truth. So today I'm writing about how to bust your own lies, so you have a better life.

We all lie - but which lies are problematic

It's very normal to lie - we all do it. Sometimes those lies are polite fictions so we can smooth social waters, sometimes those lies are a little bit more involved, because we want to escape consequences. It can be hard to accept that we lie, but once we do, we can take better care of what lies we tell and why. I know a lot of people who say that they are very honest, but when we are truly honest, we all need to acknowledge that we lie.

Lies based on what's really going on in our lives are very problematic. If you don't want to share your inner most thoughts and feelings, that's fine. But if you tell a lie about how you are feeling to others, you miss out on comfort, support and love, unless they see you are lying and call you out on it. If you lie to yourself about what you are truly feeling, you can't take charge of the problems, heal your emotional upset or look for solutions.

Lying about your own part or responsibilities in problems is also extremly problematic. If you insist it was just 'bad luck' or 'that just happened to you randomly', you are missing out on solving problematic patterns in your life, subconscious self-sabotage or past life pain. While technically it is possible that bad occurrences are just bad luck - if you are always losing jobs, getting into car crashes, having trouble with your friends etc. it's a good idea to take a long hard look in the mirror. Like they say: "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." It can be very hard to accept our own part in our problems, but it is necessary for healing, self forgiveness, letting go and moving on.

Conscious lies vs Subconscious lies 

A lot of people think they don't lie much, because they are highly unaware of all the lies they are telling. This is very normal, but at the same time, doesn't help in busting your own lies. A few years ago I heard that the most spoken lie is: "I will remember that". Upon reflection, I totally agreed, that I have said that often, while not remember the message later. So now when I hear myself say that, I substitute towards: "Let me write that down so I will remember that". Since I've done this, I definitely had to deal a lot less with things I've forgotten. 

Another common lie is the: "Everything is ok"-lie. If you don't want to share, that's fine, but automatically saying everything is fine, isn't good for us. If you hear yourself do that a lot, take some time to reflect why you don't want to share your life with others. Maybe you need to work on vulnerability, maybe you need to allow support or feel safe with another person. There are many reasons why we tend to automatically say we are good, when we are not. 

If you consciously lie, you know you are trying to get away with something or trying to take something. So it's very important to admit to yourself that you are lying. Asking yourself if it's worth the loss of integrity and the fall out if your lie gets discovered. Besides the polite fictions, that we all sometimes use, we do have malicious lies as well. We need to own those, so we can heal. 

Hearing your own lies exercise

• Take around 5-15 minutes for this exercise
• Make sure you are comfortable and can't be disturbed by your phone etc.
  
• Think of a statement you want to verify
• For example: I love myself, I am blameless of X, I am doing the best I can, I'm making healthy choices 
  
• Gently speak it in the air
• Listen carefully to your own voice: do you sound strong, confident and convincing? Or does your voice waver, do you sound small etc.
  
• Feel your body: are your relaxed and does this statement resonate fully with truth? Or do you feel a blockage somewhere or notice stress?
  
• Notice your energy: does this resonate with you or does it sound off?
• If you notice your statement is a lie - state the opposite and again notice what happens. Is the counter more true? Are both not strong and does it mean you are divided?
• Ask God/your Guides/Angels/the Universe to place you back into Truth
• Notice what happens for you and if need me, repeat your statement to hear the difference
• Do a few statements if you want to, but no more then 10, because this work can really be tiring
  
• Gently open your eyes, drink a bit of water and do some grounding 

Want to share your experience or give feedback on my exercise? Email me, post a comment here on the blog or send me a message on the Facebook Fan Page or on Instagram.  Want to work more with releasing lies? Check out the True Unity Video Release Self Delusion!