Dear People,
With the pandemic going on and the holiday season coming up, it's time to talk about traditions. For a lot of us, traditions that we have established won't work this year. Meeting up with large groups will most likely not be possible, so we have to adjust and adapt. I'm pro revisiting traditions often, because sometimes they become a burden, making us feel obligated and upset, instead of filling us with joy.
Why traditions?
Humans like rituals, like repeating cycles and those help give meaning to our lives. So it's not surprising that all of us have traditions. Some are cultural, some are religious, some are ancestral and some are personal. Traditions help us enjoy, find safety or share experiences.
A lot of times people will tell me they hardly have any traditions, mostly because they become so normal that they don't think they are worth mentioning. Even so, we all celebrate in our own unique ways and we al have things we want to do at certain times. It might be as simple as allowing the person whose birthday it is to choose dinner or as elaborate as a multi day wedding.
Bane or Blessing
When traditions move from a blessing, a shared joy, towards a bane, an obligation filled with guilt, it's often because people decide that the tradition is more important then the person. People then forget why a certain tradition is meaningful or what the original thought was.
For example: if it's tradition that you eat ham at Easter with the family and you don't care that a new family member has allergies, that means the tradition itself (eating ham) is more important then the original thought: sharing good food together.
Another reason traditions become banes is, because often people feel pressured to do the traditional thing, even when it no longer serves them well. Remember that most traditions start in our childhood and if we don't choose to create traditions in when we become an adult, meet a partner, have children or at any other stage in life, that means we'd stay stuck with traditions that no longer serve us.
It can be daunting to tell your parents that you will no longer spend Christmas Day at their house, but changes in your life will always mean changes in your traditions. Some might be seamless, like having a partner join in, but others might not.
Another reason tradition become banes is when people have opposite traditions and have to figure out what will work for them as a couple. It might be really disappointing to give something up that is meaningful to you. I recommend compromising in traditions, even if it means it becomes every other year, instead of each year. Giving up meaningful traditions permanently breeds resentment and anger.
Check in for traditions
I believe it should become common place to discuss with your partner, your family or your friends if certain traditions still work as intended or if they have to be modified. That group holiday with friends every year might work splendid in college, but not so well once people start having kids.
By keeping options open and modifying traditions to keep them inclusive, the first person with a changed life, will not feel pressured or obligated, but instead will continue to feel blessed. If making time for each other around Christmas is more important then a specific date, sharing Christmas with more people becomes a blessing instead of an obligation.
Take some time to think on which traditions no longer work for you and ask people around you if they can be modified in a way that works again. After all, following the spirit of a tradition is so much more important than the exact letter of it.
Be brave, and start new traditions this year! Need some support to change your traditions or want to share your favorite tradition? Ask me for a session or talk to
me in the practice.
Dear People,
Flexibility isn't the easiest for me, personally, so I'm always looking for ways to feel secure and safe with unexpected changes. I've been ill for a long time and having a settled routine really helped me recover and keep things moving. With all the unexpectedness of COVID-19 a lot of planners are facing more and more need for flexibility - so if you want to work on that too, now is the time.
I
write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what
resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a
lower level that resonates and then move your way up.
Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).
Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).
I want to deal with unexpected changes
I want to easily deal with unexpected changes
I want to graciously deal with unexpected changes
I want to accept unexpected changes
I want to happily accept unexpected changes
I easily deal with unexpected changes
I graciously deal with unexpected changes
I accept unexpected changes
I happily accept unexpected changesI acknowledge the changing nature of life
I understand the changing nature of life
I accept the changing nature of life
I move easily within the changing nature of life
I am safe within the changing nature of life
I celebrate the changing nature of life
I am flexible
I am easily flexible
I am easily flexible in all circumstances I enjoy my flexibility
I celebrate my flexibility
I am flexible in my thinking
I am flexible in my plans
I am flexible with my schedule
I am flexible with my goals
I am flexible with my life
Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by email or publicly online.
Dear People,
Sadly, with the pandemic going on, a lot of people have lost their jobs or want to find a second job. For most people job hunting is a slog and getting rejection letters is super demotivating. I've heard often from people that it's so hard to keep yourself motivated and to move forward. So here are some tips and thoughts to reframe your job hunt and to hopefully enjoy it more.
You aren't being judged on your merits, you are competing with others
A lot of times people tell me how painful it is to hear that 'they aren't good enough' for the job. They feel discouraged, heart broken, rejected etc. The truth however is, that it's not about how good you are, but how good you are compared to other candidates.
You could be a 99% a great fit, but if there is somebody who is 100% you will not receive the job. Other candidates could have more experience, have a better click, more relevant certificates/schooling or any other part. While it sucks not getting a job offer, don't let it hurt your self esteem. There was just a better candidate.
It's not all about what they want - it's all about what you want
A lot of people enter their job interview nervously. Will I present myself well is foremost in their minds. They want to do their utmost to be the best candidate and impress their interviewers. While that commendable in some ways, it's also a recipe for disaster. It increases pressure and also moves past an important question: Do I want the job?
Everybody who ever found themselves working for a company that was unethical, had dramatic staff shortages or other major issues, knows how horrible it is to work in the wrong job. When you have an interview, you should be sure to also check quite diligently what you feel, think and notice.
Keep your intuition primed for any signals and measure carefully if you want the job. Of course, if you have massive debt or a money problem, working somewhere 3-6 months is better than nothing, but often, that's not really the case. Waiting a few weeks or sometimes even days longer might net you a much better offer and keep you from being stuck at an employer or in a job that you will hate.
So be mindful of listening to your spirit and not your fear and move into the job that's right for you.
Finding the right job
When job hunting, it's important to do some introspection. I always notice how often people who come to me for job advice have no idea of what they want in a job. If a job is only a pay check to you, it's hard to find fulfillment and harder to convince a person to hire you. We like to see people passionate or at least happy about a job offer.
Taking the time to think of your perfect job, perfect company or perfect opportunity helps you connect to your path and your passion. You might notice that you would prefer to go for a higher paid position, switch industries or start work a business.
Once you know what you want, I recommend visualization or law of attraction techniques to move forward rapidly, as well as keeping an active eye on job listings, sending out resumes etc.
Want help finding the right job for you or an idea of what you can expect on the job front in the next few months? Book a session or a Reading with me.