Dear People,
Often we have troubles looking clearly at our own actions in the past. We can be overcome by shame, fear or guilt when we relive what we have done. We might get angry at the state of our lives or jealous at others. So we shy away from our truth and our past, missing important clues on how to make or now and our future better.
So today I've written a little bit about the healing power of self reflection and an exercise to try at home.
Self Reflection
As a tool, self reflection helps us by showing us what is working and isn't working in our lives. When we try something, we never know what kind of results we get, until the end. Then we have to live with the consequences. When we use self reflection, we are powerless to change what has happened, but we are empowered by hindsight and experience.
I like to reflect on how the main three things first: time, energy and attention. I like to see how I used my time during the day, week or month. That allows me to see what I'm doing with my life. Sometimes I might get mired in spending time on things that don't matter much to me (pointless reading, long phone calls etc.) instead of working towards my goals and enjoying my life.
I also check how my energy levels where. Seeing where they dip, allows me to see what isn't working or where I need more support. Or, just relax and deal with the fact that I got the flu or are a little below the weather. I check if my energy is with me or if I'm giving it to others, trying to help them in a self sacrificing or sabotaging way. Seeing where my energy grows and multiplies, tells me what I need to have more off in my life.
I also see what has held my attention; did I work towards my goals? Was I distracted with other things going on in my life? Did I got stuck in negativity or did I move towards problem solving? Was I able to trust or not? What holds our attention grows and we often spend time and energy on that which holds our attention.
Exercise
Make sure you have around 10-25 minutes in which you can work uninterrupted and have a pen and paper ready. If during this exercise you notice that you are creating judgements, fear, shame or guilt, take some time to release those.
Question 1: What went well this (week/month/year) ?
Sub-question: Why?
Question 2: What didn't go well ? What are you disgruntled/angry/dissatisfied about?
Sub-question: Why not? What would have been better to do?
Question 3: What plans/decisions are you going implement in the next (week/month/year) ?
Example:
What went well this week?
Eating healthier food.
Why?
It went well because I made sure I had some good snacks to take with me or easily grab. I made time to make some good juices to help pick me up. I planned healthier dinners and was energetic enough to fix them. I saw some good results on the scale and that motivated me to stay on course.
What didn't went well?
Fixing some administration. I still have to finish it.
Why not?
I'm bored, I don't like doing it and it's a lot of work. I preferred doing other things and distracted myself with other tasks. It would have been better to plan a time/date and sit my ass down to finish it.
What am I going to implement?
I need some extra motivation, so I'm going to reward myself when this administration is finished. I will plan a time/date that works so I can have 2 uninterrupted hours and fix it. I am going to continue with the healthy dinners.
Possible problems in judgements/fears/shame/guilt:
- I should have done it already => I can't go back in time
- I am lazy => I choose to finish this and increase my discipline and motivation
- I am dumb => I choose to find help so I can finish this
- Well, that went well, let's not think on it => I choose to learn from my experiences
- I am afraid I can't do this => Let's find out how far I come/Let's try
Want to use self reflection regularly to make better choices? Start journalling, start a bullet journal or use an App. Want help with self reflection in a healthy manner or share your journey? Post a comment on the blog, reach me through Facebook, e-mail me or ask me in the practice.
Dear People,
A lot of us have hang-up's on learning. We want to learn, but at the same time almost everybody hates making mistakes. A lot of us feel like failures when we are learning, but there isn't a way to learn without trying and trying means sometimes we aren't happy with the results. Failure is falling down and not getting up again, but for most people, falling down is so painful, that getting up feels impossible.
On top of that a lot of us have heard people in our lives say that we are slow, stupid or idiots. Often this becomes our own inner voice when we have heard it enough. Our own inner critic swells up, making it impossible to move forward. Time to get in touch with your inner cheerleader or best friend, who will pick you up no matter what.
I write my affirmations in different levels so you can see what resonates with you and what you want to work on. You might start with a lower level that resonates and then move your way up. A lot of us have hang-up's on learning. We want to learn, but at the same time almost everybody hates making mistakes. A lot of us feel like failures when we are learning, but there isn't a way to learn without trying and trying means sometimes we aren't happy with the results. Failure is falling down and not getting up again, but for most people, falling down is so painful, that getting up feels impossible.
On top of that a lot of us have heard people in our lives say that we are slow, stupid or idiots. Often this becomes our own inner voice when we have heard it enough. Our own inner critic swells up, making it impossible to move forward. Time to get in touch with your inner cheerleader or best friend, who will pick you up no matter what.
Pick and choose what works for you and affirm away (I recommend three times a day if you can manage it).
I easily learn new things
I easily learn languages
I easily learn names
I easily learn new skills
I easily learn new theories
I easily learn
I allow myself to make mistakes
I am ok with making mistakes (when I'm learning)
I happily make mistakes (when I'm learning)
I embrace my mistakes as opportunities to learn
I embrace my mistakes
I happily learn from my mistakes
I eagerly learn from my mistakes
I easily learn from my mistakes
I recognize opportunities to learn
I take opportunities to learn
I create opportunities to learn
I enjoy trying new things
I enjoy enriching my life
I enjoy learning
Every moment is a moment to learn something
My life is a journey of learning
I embrace the wisdom life gives me
Have an affirmation you want to share? Don't hesitate to post it in a comment on the blog or on the Facebook Fan Page. You can also share your affirmation stories in the practice, by e-mail or publicly online.
Dear People,
Today I'm writing some EFT sentences to help deal with all the emotions that can come up when we make mistakes. Often we berate ourselves for mistakes or we tack on guilt or shame. All of those can hinder learning and healthy self esteem. Some people are haunted by mistakes they made years ago, so time to release that emotional burden.
Today I'm writing some EFT sentences to help deal with all the emotions that can come up when we make mistakes. Often we berate ourselves for mistakes or we tack on guilt or shame. All of those can hinder learning and healthy self esteem. Some people are haunted by mistakes they made years ago, so time to release that emotional burden.
Releasing guilt surrounding mistakes
Even though feel guilty about my mistake, I choose to learn the lesson and move on
Even though I feel overwhelmed with guilt, I choose to learn the lesson and move on
Even though I feel guilty about old mistakes, I choose to live in the now
Even though I feel too guilty to deal with my mistakes, I choose to learn
Releasing shame surrounding mistakes
Even though I feel ashamed I made this mistake, I choose to let go
Even though I feel what I did was shameful, I can't change the past and choose to let go
Even though I feel shame, I release this feeling
Even though I feel overwhelming shame, I release this feeling
Even though I feel I should have known better, I forgive myself completely
Even though I feel I should have done better, I forgive myself completely
Even though I feel too ashamed to deal with my mistakes, I choose to learn
Allowing mistakes
Even though I don't like mistakes, I understand I need them to learn
Even though I hate my mistakes, I understand I need them
Even though I'm frustrated about my mistakes, I want to learn
Even though I (want to) hide my mistakes, I own up to them
Even though I want to stop my mistakes from happening, I want to learn
Want to chat about dealing with mistakes? Post a message on the blog, Facebook Fan Page or e-mail me for a personalized EFT sentence! Even though I feel overwhelmed with guilt, I choose to learn the lesson and move on
Even though I feel guilty about old mistakes, I choose to live in the now
Even though I feel too guilty to deal with my mistakes, I choose to learn
Releasing shame surrounding mistakes
Even though I feel ashamed I made this mistake, I choose to let go
Even though I feel what I did was shameful, I can't change the past and choose to let go
Even though I feel shame, I release this feeling
Even though I feel overwhelming shame, I release this feeling
Even though I feel I should have known better, I forgive myself completely
Even though I feel I should have done better, I forgive myself completely
Even though I feel too ashamed to deal with my mistakes, I choose to learn
Allowing mistakes
Even though I don't like mistakes, I understand I need them to learn
Even though I hate my mistakes, I understand I need them
Even though I'm frustrated about my mistakes, I want to learn
Even though I (want to) hide my mistakes, I own up to them
Even though I want to stop my mistakes from happening, I want to learn