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Dear people,

Moderation isn't always easy on us in our world that is full of temptations and distractions. I find it important to moderate in life, because when we don't, big imbalances will appear. Everybody has their own personal balance as well as their own personal pitfalls, but today I'm writing on two ways to see what needs moderation and why.

How to moderate the addictive pitfalls
Don't you hate it when suddenly you realized that you spend too many hours on your phone, a game or just ate too many sweets? Or start to realize you spend too many hours at work or at the gym and neglected your social life? We all have pitfalls that are addictive, meaning we will over consume if we don't stop ourselves in some way.

Addictive pitfalls mean that you don't get tired of something before it gets out of hand, so it doesn't have a natural boundary. We will probably get sick of water before drinking a damaging amount, but we might not get sick of drinking soda before we do.

How to moderate addictive pitfalls in 3 easy steps:

1. write a list of what is addictive to you personally
2. find a healthy boundary for you 
3. implement steps to create that boundary

So, step 1 is simple: what do you overdo in your life?

Step 2 is one that will require some thinking. What do you think is healthy? How many hours of screen time? How many hours of overtime at work? It's very personal, because it depends on our own personal goals. If you want to work for that promotion, you might allow more overtime as healthy than a parent with a family who needs to be home. If you have no other goals, it's easier to have hours of screen time, while if you want to go to the gym or have a more active social life, you might want to reduce them.

Step 3 is crucial. Since we established we don't have a natural boundary, we need to take steps to create one. A time based boundary is usually the most effective. For some people an alarm on our phones is helpful, that alerts us that we are still at work when we should have been at home or that we have spend more then 1 hour browsing already. A simple kitchen timer can also help us.

Besides using time keeping for your boundaries, it's also important that most addictive pitfalls are easy, while doing the right thing often seems much harder or require more energy. Substituting activities is also a great way of keeping addictive pitfalls at bay. We will gain in discipline, motivation and health.

Another useful boundary is keeping track of how often and when you fall into the pitfalls. You might see patterns based on stress, cycles or situations. The more you track these, the easier it is to make better choices.

When you can't seem to moderate addictive pitfalls
Rarely, people keep struggling with an addictive behavior that they can't seem to moderate and is damaging to their lives. It can be one that is considered 'good' like working hard, being extremely forgiving, being a people pleaser or one that is considered 'bad' like drinking too much alcohol, having hours of screen time,  etc.

Often I find deep seated beliefs underneath behavior that means healthy boundaries can't be set, sometimes these are even family beliefs or past life experiences. If you are stuck moderating parts of your life, don't hesitate to ask for help.

Want to share how you moderate your addictive pitfalls? Leave a message on the blog, the Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.