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Dear people,

Recently I had a talk with somebody about confrontations. Many people shy away from what they consider to be confrontations with other people, but also confrontations with themselves. I embrace knowledge, so I'm always on the look out for places where I can grow, even if it initially feels painful. I know that long term, walking around with unhealthy behavior, suppressed feelings and resentment is much worse, then that one painful moment of clarity. So today I talk about some mindset reframing to start to easily deal with confrontations.

Awareness vs Confrontations
It's easy to fall into a defensive trap when we are confronted with things we don't want to acknowledge. It might be a loved one telling us something we don't want to hear, our bodies giving us a signal or consequences that come knocking at our door because we ignored something.

If we fall into the trap of feeling confronted, we can start feeling defensive, guilty, victimized and upset. We might even shoot the messenger and in the end, we have a bigger problem to solve than we had before.

If we instead decide to admit that something painful comes into our awareness, we can choose to be grateful and bless the messenger. We choose to be happy that we have a chance to correct our mistake, learn the lesson and move into a happier life. We can ask for help when we need it and it will be freely given.

Notice how your thought patterns behave when something painful comes into your awareness. Do you choose to be confronted and create that emotional drama or do you choose to be aware and quickly and effortlessly solve the issue by accepting it, asking for help and learning your lesson.

Sharing yourself vs Confrontations
A second type of confrontation that people tend to feel bad about is, when we have to talk to others about something that isn't right for us. A lot of people will swallow their feelings until they explode or just feel very anxious about talking to the other person.

If you decide to fall into the trap of saying that you are going to confront another person, you will start from a place of anger, attack and anxiousness. On some level we do know it's bad to confront others, because nobody likes to be approached in such a way. We know we are creating more drama and more pain.

Instead, we can choose to decide to share ourselves and our feelings. We want to let the other person  know of our experience and ask for a compromise or maybe even an apology. When then come from a place of understanding and bonding. That makes it much easier to listen to what they need and what they were thinking. When we choose to share and bond, the chances are high that the other person is willing to listen and doesn't fall in the trap earlier discussed into this article.

When something goes wrong or somebody goes over your boundaries, notice how your response is, do you choose anger or fear or are you willing to share yourself and find bonding?

Want to have share something about confrontations? Leave a message on the blog, the Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.