For the start of the New Year, what is more important then Self Care? Often I hear people tell me how hard it is to take care of yourself, with a family, job, friends, children and oh so many other obligations. However, now that most of you are making resolutions, focusing on what you feel you need to accomplish this year, it's an excellent opportunity to also check in on your own needs.
Why is Self Care so important?
Many people feel like it's not OK to take care of yourself first. The most obvious place is when you board an airplane and get the safety drill. You are urged to first help yourself and only then help a child with the oxygen mask if anything happens. Still, often our first impulse is to help others. If we do that, without appropriate self care we will drain ourselves dry. That isn't in anybodies best interest.
If you find yourself too tired to do anything, realize that last year you weren't able to accomplish the things you wanted, have trouble saying no or just wish you could crawl back into bed this instant, please read on!
What should my Self Care be like?
For it to be truly Self Care and not some sabotaging behavior the Self Care must net you a positive in either: mental relaxation, physical relaxation or fitness, emotional release or relaxation or reduce your stress. It is also important however, that it doesn't give you a negative in those area's either. If it does, it's not appropriate self care, but instead sabotaging behavior.
Examples: A glass of wine might net you some relaxation and reduce stress, but if it also disrupts your sleep or makes you feel awful in the morning, it's not true self care. If taking a long walk allows you mental relaxation, but making it too long gives you pains and aches for 2 days, then it's not true self care. If you schedule a vacation to reduce stress, but leading up to it, you have too much work and freak out, it's not true self care.
How do I find out what Self Care I need?
I split the way life can tax us in three categories: mentally, emotionally and psychically. I then choose appropriate self care for each of those categories. When I'm mentally exhausted, I need things that allow me to zone out and to refresh my mind. When I'm emotionally exhausted, I need things that lift up my spirits, make me laugh or allow me to release emotions. When I'm physically exhausted, I need massages, sauna, a long bath or other things that allow me to love and care for my body.
Self Care means often that we have to not only think on what it is we need, we also need to schedule it. If you don't, you know that your busy life might swallow you and it will come back to haunt you. When we don't do enough self care, we yell at people, feel under the weather or just want to crawl back into bed.
Exercise: Your Own Self Care
Take some time off, turn off all your devices and take a sheet of paper. Take a deep breath and look back upon 2013. Which times or situations were difficult for you? When and where you did feel overwhelmed? Rate those situations and times for mental, emotional and physical exhaustion.
Looking back over your list, what area's do you score high in? Those are the ones that need the most care and be sure to already plan your self care at the end of the exercise!
Now that you know which area's are most important (or maybe all of them are!) and you also know how balanced your life is. You can have stressful situations and still feel a-ok, because you take care of yourself and lower your stress levels. Or you can have less stressful situations situations and still feel completely overwhelmed.
Write down your list of self care methods. You should have at least 3 in each category. If you don't take some time to brainstorm, browse the web or ask friends what helps them. Make sure to plan time to use those methods in 2014.
Want to share your self care methods or ask me to look at your situation? Post a comment on the blog, the Facebook Fan Page or send me an e-mail!
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