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Dear People,

We all get the urge to meddle in other people's lives. We tell ourselves we 'just want to help', but honestly, we are not facing how hard it is to feel powerless. It's though when we see people we love make decisions that we disagree on or face consequences that are painful. So today I'm talking about the failure of meddling.

Why we meddle

Often people meddle with the best of intentions. They say: "I just want to help", but they more often mean: "I think I know better". I've written about this in the blog post True Aid and the Quick Fix which can help you identify when you walk this path and give you tools on how to step off it. 

Even when we realize we don't necessarily know better, we might be struggling with frustration, resentment, powerlessness and anger. We just want things to improve, so we decide to meddle in hopes of that solving the issue.

What meddling does to us

Meddling is draining. It's trying to find ways to a cajole, manipulate or force another person to do what we think is right. It's trying to push them to take our advice or follow our suggestions. Often, this has very very limited results, so we try to push even harder or meddle even more. 

Sometimes people resort to lies, roping in others or other bad behaviors just to exert control. They tell themselves it's "for the best" or "in the end they will thank me", but the road towards our destination also counts. Nobody likes feeling manipulated or controlled and "I told you so" is a recipe for resentment and anger.

Meddling also costs a lot of time, because besides meddling moments, people think about how to meddle and plan their meddling sometimes for hours. So it's a continuous drain and can definitely lead to power struggle, resentment and self sacrifice. We spend too much energy on the other person, forgetting that we have our own issues to deal with. 

What meddling does to the other person

Often people will feel resentment, anger, defensiveness or other negative emotions when they feel their lives are being meddled with. Some will choose to engage and struggle against the meddler, with talking, explanations, suggestions or shut downs. Others will choose the path of disengagement and will just become unavailable, walk away when the meddling starts or plain ignore what is being said. 

No matter what path they choose, our  bond suffers, because there is a lack of trust, respect and mutual understanding. They will not feel gratitude for the meddling, even if the results are good, because of the  pathway we took.

Exercise: Letting go of meddling

Of course, people know that meddling hardly works, but it's still a difficult thing to give up for most of us. Especially if we are in a bond of authority (parent-child) or deeply affected by the situation because we love the other person. Just remember: meddling is our issue to solve. 

1. Take 10-15 minutes and create a quiet atmosphere where you won't be disturbed
2. Visualize the person whose life you want to meddle in
3. Give them back their problem/issue energetically
4. Ask God/Angels/Universe/Higher Self to help them in the best way possible 
5. Ask God/Angels/Universe/Higher Self  to help release your feelings of powerlessness, frustration, anger etc. 
6. Breathe in and out until you feel free and at peace
7. Give thanks for the help 
8. Open your eyes - eat something and ground yourself

If you still feel that you are the only person who can help or if you prefer working some more on this issue, I highly recommend watching the True Unity Video: Feeling Indispensable  which will be online in July dealing with the issue of feeling like you are the only person who can help.

Want to talk more about meddling? Post a comment on this blog, the Facebook Fan Page or talk to me in the practice.

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