Question from the practice: How do I know I'm healed?

Dear People,

I recently had an interesting question: "how we know we are healed?" It's not that easy to answer in just a few sentences, so I have decided to write a blog post about it. A healing path is very personal, with obstacles and goals along the way, so how do we know it has ended?

Onion model of healing

I strongly believe that we all continue to grow and learn, so that means we also continue to heal throughout life. It's like we are an onion, peeling back layer after layer, until we reach our own core, who we are meant to be. Our soul is like a diamond and we keep on creating more and more shiny facets.

As such, we never truly reach the end of healing so the answer to the question would be: You are never healed, but always healing. It's true in a way, but also a very unsatisfying answer.

However, understanding this model means you understand that sometimes we think we are healed, but yet, another layer comes up. That doesn't mean you weren't healed before, but it does mean a new level of health is available to you.

For example: if you healed childhood trauma, new pain may show up when you become a parent yourself. Suddenly, some parts of you that you never were able to see as harmed, show up to be healed and you can reach a new level of healing. In between becoming a parent and healing the trauma however, you probably felt completely healed and free.

Healing the level you are at

So I usually tell people I help heal a level of their lives, which allows them to be happy and grow again (instead of being stuck in pain, trauma or a rut), but it doesn't guarantee that you never face a new level of healing. So it's very normal for me to have clients who come back to heal new levels or areas of their lives.

So how do you know that the level you were at is healed and you are free and clear moving into a new level?

For me personally, I check for the following things:

Frequency: If the problem was occurring frequently, is it now hardly ever there or even non-existent?
Impact: If the problem had negative consequences, how have those consequences changed? Does it have negative consequences at all or are you now neutral about it?
Capability: Can you now handle the problem easily and without pain?
Growth: Do you notice you are handling the problem differently?
Next step: Did you get new opportunities and/or results showing you that you have moved on from this level?

For example, if you had trauma with a family member, being able to be around them and dealing in a positive way with their behavior, would count as healed. If you are however still experiencing anxiety, pain, hurt or guilt, that means you haven't healed it at that level.

If you have had a pattern of bad partnerships, being healed would count if you no longer carry negativity from your ex-partners, but it certainly would be clear healing if you build a healthy partnership with a new partner (next step healing). That doesn't mean you never have any fights, but you definitely can see the difference between previous relationships and your new one.

I would of course prefer to help people reach their next level in one session, but sometimes that's too big a leap for people to comfortably take. Healing must be done at the correct pace, else it will cause harm or stall. Too fast means people will usually block themselves, too slow and we lose hope and get stuck in detours. So for true healing, it's vital to know where the problem lies and to solve that. After that, the energy will just do it's work.

Want to ask me a question about my work? Post a comment on the blog, Facebook Fan Page, on Instagram or talk to me in the practice.